Ethereality News & Weblog

June 25, 2012

Create for the love of creating–not for money or fame

Filed under: Arts & Media,My Life/Musings,Writing — Rob @ 8:10 am

WEBLOG:
Recently, I wrote a post in a forum thread that was discussing the chances of today’s makers of short film (including animation) getting picked up by Hollywood and “making it big.” The discussion was a bit of a downer because some people were pointing out that for every person that wins the proverbial lottery, countless others never get anywhere, and despite creating with their blood sweat and tears, entering film festivals, promoting their work online, they remain stuck in obscurity. It made me think of something I’ve been thinking a lot about, and I wrote a post that seemed to have resonated with others who feel the same way.

The following is what I wrote:

In all the storytelling mediums–be it novels, comic books, songwriting, indie filmmaking, theater, etc, the general advice has always been to create something for the sake of creating it, and if you do it with the sole intention of getting picked up by Hollywood (or a big record company), then you’ll likely end up disappointed and feeling like you’ve wasted your time, energy, and money. But if you create for the love of creating, then it wouldn’t matter if the result ended up becoming a runaway commercial success and gained huge popularity, or only a small group of people supported it. Success would just be icing on the cake.

I was at the bookstore with my wife yesterday, and I was telling her that every time I look down the long aisles of novels, shelf after shelf, literally thousands of titles, I couldn’t help but think that there’s a lot of dreams that turned into ashes on those shelves. Each and every one of those novels took a damn long time to write (well, there are a tiny minority of writers who are absurdly fast–like a novel every few months, but they are not human. Most writers take years to write a book). Many of those writers had dreams of becoming popular and making the top selling lists, or winning literary awards, or getting picked up by Hollywood and made into movies, TV shows, or even video game adaptations. But none of it ever happened. Their books just wither into obscurity on the shelves until the bookstores don’t even stock the titles anymore and printing stops altogether. And many of those books are actually quite good–good enough to be on some people’s list of favorite books of all-time. In the end, all that remains are used copies circulating in used books stores, and second printings are never made. Those authors never even were able to make a living as writers–they all kept working day-jobs. They might have a dozen books published, but they still can’t make a living with just writing, and some had to stop writing because their day job takes up all of their time.

Imagine how that feels.

If you create solely for the sake of wanting to make it big, then you’re already damning yourself to a very high possibility of disappointment and heartbreak–even bitterness and depression. Maybe it’ll even kill your desire to create altogether. But if you create for the love of it, and for the sake of expressing your heart and soul, telling stories that have meaning to you, then you are doing it for the sake of creating.

One analogy I always give my students is the “guy singing in the shower.” A guy can thoroughly enjoy himself every time he belts out tunes at the top of his lungs while in the shower. There’s no other distractions and complications to detract from his joy of expressing himself and having a blast. He doesn’t care if anyone heard him and thought he sucked. He doesn’t care if record companies or American Idol comes knocking on his door wanting to give him more exposure. He doesn’t even need to make Youtube videos to share his singing with the world. He’s just doing it for the love of it. And you know what? He’s probably much happier in the purity of his love for what he’s doing. But the minute he starts to complicate things and wanting this and that for his singing, the happiness and joy he once felt could very easily be replaced by anxiety, disappointment, self-loathing, anger, depression, and multitudes of other negative/destructive emotions that come with being rejected, ignored, unappreciated, and criticized.

Obviously, if you want success and fame, then you have to endure the pressure and face possible disappointments, but I think what’s tragic is that many people lose sight of what it’s all about–that original love and passion. In the end, it all goes back to the love of creating and expressing yourself. If you never allow others to destroy the purity of the love you have for what you do, then the rest doesn’t matter all that much. You go on creating and expressing yourself simply because it brings you joy, and because it’s as natural and as necessary as breathing to you.

March 21, 2012

Writing relatable Mary Sues with depth

Filed under: Film/TV/Animation,Food,My Life/Musings,Video Games,Writing — Rob @ 9:48 pm

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While researching for the book I’m currently writing, I came across the Kids React videos on Youtube. I really enjoyed all the videos, although I don’t think I gained any new insights into the minds of today’s children. There will always be children who are quite “normal,” and there will always be those who are precociously mature and impressively articulate for their age. The latter are the ones I tend to write about, because they inspire both adults and other children, and I was a precocious kid myself, so that’s what I relate to. Someone like Severn Suzuki would be a prime example of the kind of children I prefer to write about. I like the idea that that children can be so intelligent, noble, wise, and courageous that they make many adults feel ashamed of themselves for not trying harder.

The downside to writing about impressive children is the whole “Mary Sue” problem (or “Gary Stu,” for male characters), so as a writer, I have to be careful and portray realistic people who despite how impressive they might be, are still human beings we can relate to. Personally, I don’t have a problem with the fact that Mary Sue characters tend to be very talented and capable, since I’ve met plenty of people like that. What raises eyebrows when it comes to Mary Sue characters for me, is the fact that they are often portrayed as perfect on the inside too.

So what happens if you have to write someone who is genuinely well-loved, noble, and with so few flaws that we almost can’t relate to how perfect they are? Today’s readers and writers are so savvy and picky that if they catch even a faint whiff of Mary Sue-like characteristics, they’ll jump on the author and proclaim him incompetent. So the question is, how do you write a lovable character who is inspirational and impressive in general, but not a Mary Sue?

I think in most cases, the so-called “perfect” people do most of their struggling on the inside. They have might have selfish and evil thoughts like the rest of us, but they have immense self-control, and they can overcome those dark thoughts and do the right thing. I’m not saying they don’t necessarily have more compassion and nobility than the rest of us, because often they do. What I’m saying is that they tend to have the self-control and tenacity to stick to being kind and compassionate towards others, even when they really don’t feel like it. I do know people in my life who always try to put on a smile, show kindness, and go out of their way to help others, even when they feel exactly the opposite–it’s as if they feel it’s their duty to make this world a better place. For the rest of us, all we see is a lovable, selfless, intelligent, and charismatic person, but we’ll never see the struggle that goes on inside of them–how they triumph over their inner demons.

As a writer, I think the way to make Mary Sues interesting is to write about that inner conflict. Novels have the freedom to explore the inner world of characters in ways that would be very hard or awkward to do in other storytelling mediums, so I feel as novelists, we should take advantage of that freedom. It doesn’t matter if your character acts like a Mary Sue–as long as she doesn’t also think like one, you should be able to write a relatable Mary Sue-like character with depth and complexity.

…

Living in a city like Fuzhou, it’s extremely hard to find decent cheese anywhere. (People in China generally dislike cheese–many find it disgusting and foul tasting, except maybe on a pizza. Hong Kong and Taiwan are far more accepting, since they are a lot more westernized.) Even the import supermarket we go to have dubious selection that’s inconsistent at best. Recently, We tried ordering imported cheese from taobao.com (the largest online shopping portal in China), and because the weather was still cold enough, the cheese products arrived in good shape.

We got some gouda and gruyere that are excellent, and we also got white truffle salsa, truffle oil, and Foie Gra that were very good:

truffle_and_foie_gras.jpg

To be able to enjoy food like this in our own home, while living in a relatively backwards city like Fuzhou, is really something, but they are so expensive since they are imported. I was excited like a little boy as we sampled each purchase. I guess it’s a good thing luxury food like these are so hard to find in Fuzhou, otherwise I’d stuff myself with them and eat a big chunk out of our savings.

…

I finished Dead Space 2, and I think in general, I liked it almost as much as the first game (which is one of my all-time favorite games). Some of the freshness and surprise isn’t there anymore, because I’m already familiar with the premise, the gameplay, the general mood, and narrative style, but the new location does provide some interesting levels and enemies, such as the babies and children, the childcare center, the shopping district, the residential areas, and so on. It’s hard to screw up a sequel when the first one already laid down the most important foundation to build upon though.

I’m totally looking forward to the next sequel, and I hope it will have a long life as a franchise like the Resident Evil series.

I finally found the time to play some Skyrim, and it’s been pretty okay so far. There’s no dramatic intensity to speak of, since unlike most RPG’s, the sandbox approach allows you just roam around, and random encounters have no carefully crafted dramatic structure that creates strong emotional resonance. Sandbox games all have this problem, and no matter how the developers try to put a main plot in the game, it doesn’t fix the problem because the game doesn’t force the player to follow the main plot, and when you can’t control the story progression as a writer, is when you lose the ability to craft a dramatic structure/pacing that only a good writer could.

I also started playing Mass Effect 3, and so far the premise feels a a bit like Bioware had jumped the shark regarding the whole Reapers and earth situation. I’m sure I’ll really enjoy the game anyway though–it’s Bioware, after all.

Other than the unlikely premise, I was really put off by this James character, who has no background and apparently is pals with Shepard. Bioware did nothing to tell the player who this James is–I had to find out by searching the internet. Apparently, he appeared in one of the other products related to the Mass Effect franchise. It’s unforgivable that Bioware expects the player to just know who this James is, as if they expect people to buy and experience all of their other Mass Effect related products.

Then there’s that Diana Allers reporter character, played by Jessica Chobot. Seriously, how the hell did that happen? It feels tacked on, like some kind of fan-service for the horny nerds. Chobot is nowhere near the caliber of a good voice actress–the whole thing was a marketing gimmick.

I can’t help but think all of the recent negatives I’ve experienced with Bioware games (including Dragon Age II) is directly related to the fact they are now owned by EA. Before EA, Bioware had a far better track record. Although in interviews, the Bioware guys deny that EA has any influence, but nobody believes it, by the simple fact that Dragon Age II was so rushed and many levels were obviously recycled. The Bioware before EA would never have done such a thing.

…

Quickie TV and movie reviews:

Girls’ Generation and the Dangerous Boys – This was probably one of the more interesting SNSD reality shows, having the girls mentor five troubled teenage delinquent boys. Since Korean teenagers are in general much more polite and better behaved than western ones, the boys might seem perfectly normal by western standards.

Reality shows are by nature manipulative, and this is no exception. There were some genuine moments of emotions and conflicts, but so much it just felt too contrived (in this regard, Asian countries are far worse than western ones). I would say the show had a positive impact on the boys though, because at the very least, it showed them what it takes to work hard towards a goal, what kind of behavior is favored by society at large, and the dynamic between those behind the camera, in front of the camera, and the audience. If nothing else, it taught them to never trust the media ever again.

The Limey – It’s a little dated looking, and it doesn’t necessarily feel like a Soderbergh film, but it’s a decent thriller.

The Ides of March – An entertaining political thriller, although I think Ryan Gosling is too young for the role. I don’t know if the character was meant to be that young in the original screenplay, or they wrote/rewrote it for Gosling.

Friends with Benefits – Fairly standard Hollywood romantic comedy. If you like the main leads, then watch it I guess.

The Flowers of War (金陵十三釵) – A bit melodramatic, but a film with its heart in the right place. If the writing was more objective and less sensational, then it would’ve been a lot stronger.

Hugo – I was bored by the first half of the movie–it felt like a meandering movie for children without any interesting conflicts, and I didn’t like Chloe Moretz in this film. I have enjoyed seeing her in past movies, but she just seemed like the wrong actress for the role. Also, as she gets older, she enters the awkward phase, where her precious child charm no longer works–in fact, feels contrived–and she’s not quite developed the depth an adult actress needs. The second half of the movie dealing with the real story, is much more interesting, but by then, it was too late. I think it was a bad idea for Scorsese to tread into Spielberg territory, because his sensibility just isn’t built for it, IMO.

Fast Five – Crazy stunts. Attractive people. Fast cars. Pounding music. A bit smarter than typical action movies.

Brothers – Probably the best acting I’ve seen from Toby Maguire to date. The rest of the cast are all very high caliber actors, so in a way, Maguire really had to bring it in order to not look like the odd man out. The ending wasn’t very satisfying, but the dramatic tension up to the ending was quite good.

February 12, 2012

Finding simplicity and accepting challenge

Filed under: Books,Film/TV/Animation,My Life/Musings,Video Games,Writing — Rob @ 9:51 pm

WEBLOG:
Ever since I’ve shifted my focus to writing novels in the last couple of years, I’ve found that my life’s gotten less complicated. No more fussing with troublesome high-tech gear, technical glitches, constant updating of software, learning new production techniques, trying out new plugins, following all the latest industry news, and so on.

Now, I just write. My concern is just the stories I’m trying to tell, and the words in which I tell them with. The tools in which I write with are much simpler than the tools I use for creating music or visual art, but the writing itself is actually much harder than composing music, drawing, painting, design, or working on any production of video game or film. Why? Because the story is the heart and soul of everything. Without a good story to tell, we wouldn’t have much to express in our movies, TV shows, video games, or songs.

While everyone who is fluent in a language can write, and everyone who has a half-formed idea can tell a story, it’s actually extremely hard to write a book that achieves these three goals:

-Tell a compelling story that has profound intellectual and emotional resonance, while still very entertaining.

-Have a masterful command of the language that strikes the perfect balance between being functional and having literary merit.

-Despite all the stories that has already been told in books, movies, TV shows, comic books, and video games, your story somehow still matters.

Writing novels is the hardest of all my creative passions, and it’s also the one that I can do on my own, without needing extra funding or relying on a team for manpower, and it’s also the most straightforward—just write and tell the story. No need to boot up Photoshop or Maya, dial in the perfect guitar tone, set up the microphone, wrestle with the DAW, or fuss with lighting equipment.

…

I finished reading Assassin’s Apprentice (by Robin Hobb) recently. It’s a low-key fantasy that focuses more on the emotional and psychological state of the protagonist, instead of the plot-driven narrative that is more common in genre fiction.

I thought the premise of a prince’s bastard son trained as a royal assassin was interesting, and the prose was enjoyable, but in terms of storytelling and pacing, it was slow-paced and unsatisfying in the conflicts and resolutions. I’m not one of those people who needs to have big epic battles and constant melodrama in a fantasy book in order to be entertained, but I do want some kind of satisfaction—be it the emotional journey of the character, the dramatic progression, or the fulfillment of a theme.

At the end of the book, I didn’t feel any satisfaction, and I can’t say I really cared for the protagonist—someone who I thought was a real drag and whose head I didn’t enjoy being in. If I had to describe the entire book with one word, it would probably be “drab.” The protagonist had no sense of humor whatsoever and was just a miserable and depressing person. As a personal preference, I much rather be around people with a sense of humor, no matter how bleak their lives seem. If a person doesn’t have a sense of humor, he should at least be interesting. Unfortunatly, Fitz, the first-person point-of-view character, just wasn’t interesting as a person, while everyone else around him had more distinct personalities.

I recognize that this is often one of the problems of reading a series—that often you don’t get a satisfying sense of closure because the first book is just setting the stage for what’s to come in the sequels. I don’t think it’s necessarily an inherent characteristic of a series though, because I have read first books of series that I really enjoyed, and today’s exciting television shows prove that every season’s finale can be very satisfying, and don’t have to feel like the writers are withholding the good bits for later seasons.

I read the synopses of the later books, and they seem more interesting than the first book, but right now, I’m more eager to read other books that’s on my must-read list.

…

I really wanted to love Deus Ex: Human Revolution, but after a few hours, I was bored out of my mind. The stealth aspect of the gameplay was boring, and the action aspect wasn’t all that exciting either. To date, I have never finished any of the Deus Ex games, because at some point, they all became too boring and I just couldn’t be bothered to continue. The sad thing is, this franchise has one of the most interesting premises in video games, yet no developer has nailed the execution. If they could just hand this game over to a developer who really kicks ass at addictive gameplay and immersive storytelling (say, Valve or Bioware), then maybe there will be a Deus Ex game I could actually enjoy.

I gave Gears of War 3 a try for a few hours, and I just didn’t feel like there was a point to finishing it, because it was the same damn thing like the previous two games, and the testosterone-drenched dialogues just became too cheesy for me to stomach, especially after having to endure it in the previous two games already. It’s like watching a bunch of cartoon gorilla’s making noises at each other, and I felt like my own IQ was diminishing by the minute as I played the game. I kind of want to finish it just because I’ve finished the previous two and they were fairly enjoyable (despite all the ridiculous macho posturing), but with so many other games fighting for my attention, it’s hard to justify spending more time on a game that didn’t have anything compelling to offer.

On a whim, I gave Shadows of the Damned a try, and it was mildly interesting as a horror game with juvenile, grindhouse humor. But beyond the circus freak show, I didn’t feel compelled to continue after a couple of hours.

After feeling unsatisfied with the above three mentioned games, I decided to go for something that I knew would be amazing. I had watched a friend’s video playthrough of Dead Space 2 a while ago (when I was stuck somewhere without my gaming rig for a couple of weeks, and it looked like a lot of fun. I loved the first game (one of my all-time favorite games of all time), so now that the memory of his playthrough has faded a bit, I’ve decided to go for it.

And yes, Dead Space 2 it’s a far better game than those previously mentioned ones. I’m about three hours in, and I’m kind of dreading it ending, because then I would have to go through more mediocre games until I come across another engrossing game like Dead Space 2.

…

Quickie TV/Movie reviews:

Homeland (season one) – Excellent drama/thriller. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the whole season. Claire Danes has improved a lot as an actress since I last saw her in a movie. I really wanted the bomb to go off in the finale, but looks like the writers are setting it up for deeper government infiltration.

Downton Abbey (seasons one and two) – I really loved most of season one, but towards the end of the season, I started to notice the cracks in the writing. In season two, the cracks got bigger and bigger, and eventually veered into daytime soap territory in some plotlines. That one scene with Matthew sitting by Lavinia bed–Dan Stevens’s acting was so bad in that scene that I had to wonder if they did so many takes and still couldn’t nail it, and the director just said, “Fuck it,” and used the take that sucked the least.

American Horror Story (pilot) I was disappointed by the pilot. It was too gimmicky and disjointed, and had no suspense building in the pacing at all. I won’t be watching any more of it.

Polar Bears: Spy On the Ice – I Can never get enough of these nature shows/documentaries. The scene where the female polar bear was getting all sexed up for the male had me in stitches. I had no idea polar bears could do centerfold poses like that.

The Sacrifice (Offret) – I looked forward to watching this, since I really loved Solaris, but this final movie by Tarkovsky was a slow, plodding, and a pretentious mess. I couldn’t wait for it to end.

Cowboys and Aliens – Disposable popcorn entertainment. Good fun, but nothing worth recommending to others.

The Square – A slow-burn thriller that gets keeps on escalating until the dramatic conclusion. I would have preferred a more optimistic ending, but I understand why it had to end the way it did. Claire van der Boom is such a cutie, with those soft, doe-like eyes. I actually sought out this movie because I was quite taken with her when I saw her in the new Hawaii Five-O TV series.

Fright Night Superior to the original in every way. I usually don’t care for Colin Farrell because he’s always playing the protagonist while exuding this douchbag aura. As a villain though, he’s great. He should just play villains from now on.

Little Man Tate – Interesting take on the subject of precocious children. It drives home the point that precocious children and child prodigies are still just kids, and sometimes the best thing for them is to allow them to remain children.

December 26, 2011

Odds and ends

Filed under: Cool & Fun Stuff,Film/TV/Animation,Photography,Site News,Video Games,Writing — Rob @ 9:35 pm

SITE NEWS:
New Kitty Cat Diary entries are up:

WEBLOG:
I just got these Husky slippers:

I was searching for a pair of bear paws slippers, but came across these Husky slippers, and yelped with delight. I just HAD to get a pair. They are pretty comfy, and don’t impede with my walk that much, except when going up the stairs, they get in the way a little bit–nothing serious though. If a gigantic klutz like me can walk with them on, so can most people.

A couple of photos:

…

I’ve recently moved to Scrivener for most of my writing needs (although I still use Writer’s Cafe for plotting, since the multiple lane Storylines feature is indispensable during the outlining phase). I’ve customized it to match my needs, and it looks like this:

If you also use Scrivener and wants to use my layout, you can download the .scrvlayout file on this page. If you’re on the Mac, I also provided the customization numbers for the colors on that page, so you can replicate my layout.

…

I’ve been trying to catch up on some games that I’ve missed out on in the past. Here are some impressions:

The Witcher – I heard a lot of good thing about this game, and now that I finally tried it, I was disappointed. The game just doesn’t feel very polished in terms of storytelling and presentation. I keep reading about how the story is sophisticated and the moral grayness is its strength, but the way the story is presented is so clumsy that I just couldn’t bother to continue after the first few hours. The game expects you to know the books it’s based on and doesn’t bother trying to build a premise for you to be immersed in. The transition from the opening chapter at the Stronghold to the outskirt of Vizima was so sudden that it felt like the game glitched and skipped a cinematic or a transitioning area. The writers also did not do a good job setting up the the relationship between the characters–I just didn’t care about any of them, and felt no bond with them.

The gameplay was also a bore-fest. All you do is click on an enemy and try to chain attacks together by clicking again when the cursor turns into a flame. How is waiting for a cursor to turn into a flame icon and then clicking it interesting? You have a few fighting styles to choose from, but all you do is match them to each enemy, and that’s it–there’s no other strategy beyond that. There are magic abilities, but it’s nothing interesting–more like what Jedi’s do with the Force.

Another thing that I didn’t like about The Witcher is you don’t feel that sense of camaraderie between characters such as with Bioware’s group system, where characters banter and actually feel like living personalities. I don’t mind lone wolf type of adventures, but it has to be compelling, and The Witcher just didn’t compel me.

I tried watching some “Let’s Play” videos on Youtube and realized the story just didn’t interest me. Having plot points and characters and conflicts is not enough–there has to be emotional resonance, and that, is what is missing from The Witcher.

As a writer and a gamer, I think Bioware’s RPG’s are far stronger in emotional resonance, and I’ll gladly replay any Bioware RPG before ever trying The Witcher again, or bother with its sequel.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords – The first KOTOR game is one of my favorite RPG’s of all time, and I have always wanted to play the sequel. I had tried numerous times previously but due to strange technical issues on the PC, I never was able to run that game smoothly–I always got stuck during the tutorial level. Recently, after discovering a patch, I was finally able to run the game, and I’ve started playing it.

I was surprised by how dated it looked, and how clunky the combat and GUI felt. For all the bitching and moaning that PC gamers do about how console games dumb down the gameplay and GUI’s of RPG’s, I actually think it’s a good thing to make gameplay and GUI as streamlined and intuitive as possible. Seriously, was it ever a good thing to have dozens and dozens of commands mapped to a QWERTY keyboard? Customizing and learning the keyboard layout of a new game was always a monumental task and I never enjoyed that aspect of PC gaming. The only time it works well is for mapping individual weapons/powers of twitch-reflex games–that’s when instant access really matters. For RPG’s, I actually prefer console-styled controls more than PC ones.

I haven’t gotten very far yet in the game, so I don’t have anything to say about it yet, although it started a lot slower than the first game, and I don’t particularly like slow beginnings unless it really draws you in, which this particular beginning doesn’t.

The Longest Journey – This is one of my favorite games of all time, and recently I thought I’d play through it again to feel that nostalgic magic again. This time around, I noticed things that I was much more willing to forgive ten years ago when I first played it–for example, how slowly the characters talked. The voice acting is great, but everyone just talked too slow, like they have all the time in the world.

On a whim, I searched for “Let’s Play” videos on Youtube, and sure enough, there they were. So I think I’m just going to watch the rest on Youtube instead, since it’s not the kind of game you play for the gameplay–it’s all about the story. There are no multi-branching endings, so you can just sit back and watch someone else play. I’ve already solved the puzzles tens years ago too, so I don’t really need to do it again. Besides, I always hated puzzle-solving in adventure games, because they often have the most contrived and annoying puzzles out of all the games.

If you have never played The Longest Journey and its sequel Dreamfall, I highly recommend you watch the “Let’s Play” videos for them on Youtube. The writing for these games are excellent (although TLJ can get a little silly at times, while Dreamfall is a lot more mature overall).

Cathrine – I have no interest in playing puzzle platformers, but the story for Catherine seemed interesting, so I just watched the “Let’s Play” for it (skipping all the actual platforming).

Despite a cast of Caucasian characters and based totally in western culture, there’s that Japanese-centric storytelling, dialogues, visual style, and includes even a question about whether the player gets nosebleeds if he is excited/aroused. I wonder if the writers even knew that’s a totally Japanese thing and westerners have never even heard of such a thing except when they see it in anime and manga?

The story really isn’t anything all that interesting, and felt more like a much shorter story being padded to hell to make it last much longer.

The only thing about the game I really liked was the voice of Catherine (voiced by Laura Bailey). Now, that is a really cute and sexy voice. Laura Bailey’s natural voice doesn’t sound anything like that though (there are videos of her doing panels at Comic Con), but I guess that’s why she’s an awesome voice actress.

Syberia/Syberia II – I tried playing Syberia years ago and was bored by it. Now, I’m watching the “Let’s Play” for these two games, and I’m still bored. There’s just no emotional resonance in the storytelling, and some of the voice acting’s just awful. I can’t stand it when they use an adult to voice a child character, and the voice actor sucks at doing children’s voices–it completely destroys the suspension of disbelief.

December 20, 2011

2012 New Year’s Resolutions

Filed under: Art & CG,Audio & Music,Books,Computers & Gadgets,Film/TV/Animation,My Life/Musings,Writing — Rob @ 6:35 pm

WEBLOG:
It’s that time of the year again–New Years Resolutions. Let’s see how I did in 2011 first.

Here were the resolutions I made for 2011, and how I fared:

1) Continue to focus on music when I have the time and elevate the quality of my work to the next level and replace pretty much everything that’s currently on my site with better, newer, improved tracks. Also redesign the music page on my site so it’s more streamlined.

I actually didn’t get to spend much time on music in 2011, and only finished one track. I’ve been focusing on writing novels instead. I had built up a good momentum and I didn’t want to interrupt it. Novel-writing is an arduous endeavor, and it’s not easy to keep a momentum going, so when things are going well, you’d best not stop for anything.

I will definitely still work on my music, but for now, my writing is placed at higher priority.

2) Create a new workshop since the current one has run its course (after repeated runs). I have a list of topics I’d want to focus on, and it’ll be hard narrowing it down to just one. Also, I’m very meticulous and a perfectionist, so it’ll likely take a while to create. The current workshop took me over a year and half to create, so this is really serious hard work.

Turned out Becoming A Better Artist has not run its course and is still going strong. The latest run I’m teaching was only one vacancy short of selling out, and after two years of running almost back-to-back nonstop, that’s pretty remarkable. So it looks like I’ll continue to improve/evolve the workshop and I’ll go on teaching it, until one day it does run its course.

Recently, the alumni students forum I’ve been wanting to create finally became a reality, and now all of my past students get to hangout together in a private forum dedicated to them, where they can support and help each other, and I’ll continue to mentor them there for as long as they feel they still need my help. The access to the alumni students’ lounge is permanent, so it’s a really good place to build a community. They’ll also always have access to the latest versions and updates of the course material as I evolve/expand it. So basically, my workshop is unlike any other out there–it’s sort of like a gift that keeps on giving.

3) I’ve gotten some good writing done in 2010–stuff that actually reads back satisfyingly, as opposed to making me cringe. I think this is a sign that I’ve matured and grown as a writer, and I suspect it’s getting close to that time where I concentrate on finishing a novel or screenplay and send it out there to meet publishers/studios.

I was right in my forecast, and all throughout 2011, I wrote nonstop, and my writing effort has upped its seriousness level to DEFCON 3. In the past, it’s always been just DEFCON 5, or maybe 4. Does the rating seem kind of abstract? Well, I sort of see it like this:

DEFCON 5 – Strategy on paper but no action taken. Have some cool ideas and will jot them down, but will not actually take action to pursue them.

DEFCON 4 – Locked and loaded, and shots fired. Actually writing, but without a sense of grim determination and urgency to see it through as finished works ready to be submitted to agents. There may be long stretches between writing anything–it’s really more like a hobby fueled by inspiration rather than discipline.

DEFCON 3 – Heated battles raging. Determined and focused, and writing regularly as part of a daily routine (whenever possible), and it’s only a matter of time before the work is completed and sent out to agents.

DEFCON 2 – Missiles launched and heading for targets. Manuscripts have been sent out and dealing with rejections or negotiations.

DEFCON 1 – Targets destroyed, and all out global destruction imminent. Agent signed, book deal signed, and dealing with pre-publishing details like cover art, font choices, marketing strategies, and so on.

I wrote roughly 41,000 words in 2011, and while that’s not a lot by some people’s standards, I’m the type to write/revise/edit as I go, instead of banging out a first draft and then do revisions and edits later. If I just forged ahead on first drafts, I’d easily have at least double that in a year. I’m hoping to pick up the pace in 2012, but ultimately, it’s the quality of the writing that counts.

So just what the hell have I been writing? Those of you who have been followed my blog probably already know, but here’s a recap of what I’ve working on:

Promise – A bitter sweet, dark, modern fairy tale about love, faith, and sacrifice. This is the story I’ve been working on in different forms since 1998. It started as an idea for a graphic novel, then was written as a short story, then went into development as an animated short film (but funding fell through), then was planned as a multimedia novel, and now finally, being written as a novel. This is currently the main project I’m working on, and I want to finish this one first, since I sort of see it as the “defining work” due to it having been in development for thirteen years already, and a story I feel compelled to tell.

Silent Storm – A psychological supernatural thriller that examines the relationship between obsession, illusions, and happiness. I’ve been working on this one off and on for more than ten years.

Oceanica – A sci-fi novel about a teenage girl’s involvement in a galactic conspiracy. This one has been in various stages of development for probably twenty years now.

Undead Souls – A post-apocalyptic zombie novel that investigates whether it’s possible to rebuild society after a total collapse, and how to avoid all the major mistakes of previous civilizations.

In 2012, I’d like to push even harder and finish at least one of these books and get it in a state that’s ready for agent hunting.

4) I’d love to spend more time working out, but every single year I fail at this. Will 2011 be any different?

Hahaha. I failed again, and I suspect I’ll continue to fail at this. I just don’t enjoy working out for the sake of working out, and all the physical activities I used to enjoy when I lived in the States aren’t suitable or popular in China.

I’ve always been more disciplined when it comes to mental challenges than physical ones though. It no wonder all my passions are mental ones and not physical ones (well, music involves physical challenges too, but they are minor compared to endeavors that are really physically draining).

Anyway, I’m never going to make any resolutions about working out again from now on. If I do it, great, if not, so be it.

5) If I happen to finish my current batch of music before 2011 ends, I might change my focus the multimedia novel project again.

Nope. The multimedia novel project is put on hold indefinitely as I’m now totally focused on writing novels, and I’d like to see how far I can take that.

So, besides continuing the resolutions from the previous year, do I have any new ones for 2012? Not really. The ones carrying over from the previous year are all long-term goals, and they are the main things I’m focusing on in my life currently, so I’ll just keep up the momentum and hopefully push a bit harder.

…

I just had another Seagate Barracuda 1.5TB hard drive acting up on me, and lost hundreds of gigabytes of data. Thankfully, most of it was backed up regularly. It’s only about a year old too, and not even used much. I had another Seagate Barracuda 1.5TB hard drive malfunctioning on me several months ago, and that one was also barely used. A few months before that, a 200GB Barracuda also acted up and had to be replaced.

That’s three Seagate Barracuda hard drives that’s failed on me in the last couple of years, and because of this, I have now sworn to never buy Seagate ever again.

I’ve ordered a Hitachi Deckstar 3TB, and I hope that one will last much longer. I still have a bunch of Seagate Barracuda hard drives in my computers, and that makes me kind of nervous. I hope the three that’s failed so far are just a coincidence, and the rest will be fine.

I did check the firmware for the failed drives and some didn’t have any new firmware to update to, and some did, but having updated the firmware doesn’t seem to solve the problems. I’ll keep trying to salvage those drives, but in general, since a hard drive becomes unstable, you can no longer trust it again, and should only use it for unimportant stuff that you don’t mind losing.

…

I recently finished reading The Binding Chair: or, A Visit from the Foot Emancipation Society, by Kathryn Harrison. I have read two previous books by her (The Kiss, and Exposure), and I loved the beauty of the prose in a Mother’s Day essay she wrote over ten years ago, titled Supplicant.

The Binder chair is written in third-person, and lacks the kind of emotional intimacy that Harrison is capable of expressing when she writes in first person point-of-view. That would have been fine if the book was compelling anyway, but in the end, I was disappointed by the book. It is guilty of all the things that genre fiction writers and readers can’t stand about literary fiction, such as the meandering, plotless story, the fragmented structure and slow pacing, the willful vagueness, and characters that you just don’t care about. The only times when the book became interesting was when the story was told in a straightforward manner instead of with all the literary pretensions. And I’m saying this as someone who likes and writes literary fiction.

Harrison shapes the main character in ways that feels inauthentic, and at times, even ludicrous. She doesn’t seem to really understand the psychic landscape of the Chinese people, and for all the research she did and the stories her grandmother (who lived in Shanghai) told her, Harrison never actually reached into the heart of culture. There was one particular scene that almost made me want to throw the book across the room–it was when May, the main character, burned paper money to mark the death of her previous self so she could begin a new life. That is such a western way of thinking, and it is completely unfathomable to any Chinese person who has grown up in China–not only during that era, but even now in the 21st century. Has Harrison ever actually had in-depth discussions with anyone who had grown up in China before? If she had actually talked to anyone who’s from China, Taiwan, or Hong Kong, she would have learned how ridiculous of an idea that is–that no Chinese person would ever do such a thing.

When authors write about the inner world of characters in a foreign culture, they really should research by actually asking people from that culture whether such thoughts and ways of thinking was even possible. Researching history, geography, economics, politics, and traditions is not enough–you need to research the psychic landscape of the people of that culture and understand what kind of ideas would be considered so outlandish that it would never even cross their minds.

Maybe only people who has lived the culture can spot the inauthentic aspects of stories written by those who are not part of the culture, and to everyone else, it doesn’t bother them at all. After all, if cultural authenticity is a factor for success, Amy Tan would never have become successful. If Amy Tan, someone who’s Chinese American and have Chinese relatives to draw inspiration from and do research with, produces what most Chinese people who grew up in Asia considers inauthentic portrayal of Chinese culture, then how could someone like Harrison possibly get it right?

Cultural authenticity aside, the book just didn’t do anything for me. I had to force myself to finish it, and there were several times when I was very tempted to just drop it and move on to another book (it’s not like I don’t have a gigantic list of books I’d like to read in this lifetime already). Nothing that happened in the book moved me or kept me interested, and the few interesting nuggets were never fully explored (such as the gifted pianist younger brother who had his hands crushed by his own father). The relationships between the main characters had no substance, being built on inexplicable and obtuse fascinations or selfish possessiveness, and the inner turmoil of the characters were always portrayed through a veil or from a distance. There were very few scenes where characters connected in a genuine manner, and maybe that’s what Harrison intended.

It’s disappointing that an author who once inspired me with the beauty of her prose has written something that turned out to be a chore to read through. Yes, the words themselves are very good–that is Harrison’s strength, but as a storyteller, she didn’t capture or keep my interest with this book, and it saddened me to read a book that proves the genre fiction readers and writers right–that some literary fiction books really are an unsatisfying and meandering bore.

…

Quickie movie reviews:

Enter The Void – I had to see this because I really enjoyed Irreversible, the previous film by Gaspar Noé. I liked certain aspects of this film, but I think it was a bit pretentious and repetitive, with a lot of unnecessary gimmicky cinematography. I respect the director for doing something different, and I hope he continues to do challenging work, but maybe reign it in a notch and focus on the storytelling more and less on the gimmickry.

Red – A predictable and safe spy comedy about retired operatives. The premise was more of a gimmick than actually having something to say about retired spies.

Kung Fu Panda 2 – I thought the first one was overrated, and I think the same of this sequel. The characters and the stories just don’t resonate with me. I enjoyed the score by John Powell though (he’s one of the best among the current popular Hollywood composers).

Unthinkable - A pretty good thriller, although it felt a bit forced at times, with a contrived setup for moral debates that ultimately don’t feel convincing.

Thor – A great popcorn flick, and not much to complain about. These comic book movies are getting better all the time. If only the same would happen for video game movies. To date, we haven’t had a single really good video game movie yet.

Drumline - I found out about this movie through an interview with the Korean girl pop group After School, where they talked about this movie being the inspiration for one of their songs (where they learned to play the marching snare drum and dressed in sexy versions of the marching band outfit).

This is an unusual movie because it’s not exactly the kind of topic most people would be interested in, but that’s why I like movies about esoteric endeavors–it sort of servers as a showcase, education and entertainment all at the same time. Nick Cannon is a terrible actor, but he was tolerable in this movie. Zoe Saldana was smoking hot. The way she danced in that cheerleading outfit was just…WOW.

30 Minutes Or Less – Another bromance comedy. It was pretty fun, and the villains were surprisingly likable. Aziz Ansari isn’t a good actor though. He may be a good comedian and does well in minor supporting roles where he just mouths off and cusses, but he can’t seem to handle anything that requires more dramatic weight. As soon as he’s required to emote beyond looking annoyed, he turns into a stiff robot. Dilshad Vadsaria was a cutie–I hope to see more of her in the future.

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