Ethereality News & Weblog

News:
I have just officially joined the Black Mesa team. I’m very excited to be involved, as Half-Life is one of my all-time favorite games, and it’s also the game that changed my life (turned me into a serious gamer, and established my love for FPS games). What the Black Mesa project is, is essentially fulfilling the promise that Half-Life: Source didn’t. All the Half-Life fans thought HL: Source was going to be a complete update of the original game, with all brand-new graphics, enhanced level designs..etc, just like Counter-Strike: Source, but it wasn’t–only the physics engine was updated to the Source engine, the rest remained exactly the same. So what the Black Mesa team is doing is trying to fulfill that promise, by doing a total remake of Half-Life as a Half-Life 2 MOD, with the Source engine, all brand-new graphics, updated level design and characters, new music, new voice acting..etc. So far, it’s won the best anticipated MOD of the year twice, and gotten some great media exposure. Even Valve has mentioned the game on Steam and said they’re looking forward to playing it just like everyone else. For those of you who are Half-Life fans, you can see why I’m all excited like a little school girl. I have always wanted to join a MOD team to work on something I’d really enjoy being a part of (I have never worked on a game I’d actually buy as a gamer in my entire game industry career so far), and I couldn’t have asked for more than working on the game that made me a gamer all those years ago.

Some screenshots from the Black Mesa MOD (look at the embedded comparison images from the original game–the improvement is startling–as it should be with today’s technology and overall raised bar for excellence across the industry/fandom):

Weblog:
Elena and I have been hunting for a new apartment, and after looking at a few places, we realized that we absolutely need a place that’s at least 850 square feet in order to not feel like we’re suffocating. The main problem is really me though, as I need space for my home recording studio. In the Bay Area, you’re looking at around $1,500 a month for a two-bedroom apartment of that size. This might sound ridiculous to those of you living in areas with cheaper housing, but that’s just how things are here.

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While waiting for our food at a pizza joint the other day, we saw some infomercial about natural cures for health problems that sounded too good to be true (don’t they all?), and out of curiosity, I did a bit of googling. I didn’t have to look far, since the charismatic con-man by the name of Kevin Trudeau is all over the internet, and most of it is about his criminal history as an unscrupulous fraud. This article from The Salon is a good read to find out more about this piece of shit who should be locked up.

I personally have an intense hatred for people like Kevin Trudeau–people who are certainly very intelligent and charismatic, but use those qualities for fraud, selfish greed, and exhibit an obvious contempt for all that is true and just in this world. These opportunists without scruples are exactly the kind of people that I’ve seen too many of while living in China–they have turned China into a festering cesspool filled with corruption, greed, lies, and disrespect for human life.

The older I get, the less faith I have in those with power. If I really want to see the ugly stains on humanity, I only have to look to our own government, corporations, and in some cases, organized religions. It’s truly a wonder how we, as a species, can even last as long as we did, when so many at the top of the food chain are exactly the same type of people like Kevin Trudeau. How did we ever allow someone like Bush Jr. to con his way into the White House? When will we have another leader that can instill a sense of hope, idealism, and faith in the goodness of mankind? We desperately need a leader that can inspire the goodness in us–someone much like Bobby and John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr, Mahatma Gandhi, or Nelson Mandela.

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A couple of quickie film reviews:

Marie Antoinette - I respect Sophia Coppola’s creative decisions, but I feel her choice of material was a letdown. If she had applied the same creative decisions to a different historical figure, the result would’ve been far more meaningful. With Marie Antoinette, I don’t feel that as a person, there is anything about her that’s worth a whole film to show in a different light–even in the way she was flawed is very mundane. Maybe the contrast between her mundane existence and her extravagant environment was part of the message, but it does make for a very boring message.

The Prestige - I liked this better than The Illusionist, although I really disliked Christian Bale’s character. The plot twists in this film weren’t nearly as predictable as in The Illusionist, and the performances were in general stronger (although I can’t say I’ve ever warmed up to Scarlett Johansson’s acting. She was appropriate in Lost In Translation, that was it). Seeing David Bowie was a real treat, as I think the last film I ever saw him in was Labyrinth.

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Finally finished playing Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, and I’m glad I didn’t give up on it as I almost did about a third into the game. Although the writing never got much better (you could totally see the plot twist right in the first chapter of the game!), it does have a lot of fun moments of gameplay. I’ve always wanted to play a good fantasy based FPS, and now I have. The melee combat was fairly satisfying, although I wanted more of a fighting game type of combos and upper/lower attacks. I mean, what kind of melee combat doesn’t allow you to sweep the feet of your opponent or kick him in the knee? What about grappling? Maybe one day a developer will finally make the ultimate FPS fantasy game, with sophisticated fighting like that of the fighting genre, the immersive perspective of a FPS, and the inventory/storytelling of RPG’s and adventure games. A boy could always dream, right?

I’m getting really excited about Mass Effect. Bioware is a company I trust (although I could never get into Neverwinter Nights), and what they’ve shown to the public so far is nothing short of stunning. If there’s a compelling portrait of next-generation gaming, that is it. Other titles I’m looking forward to off the top of my head are Alan Wake, Stalker, Dark Sector, Unreal Tournament 3, and Bioshock.

NEWS:
Autumn colors (part 2):

During the first two weeks of December, Elena and I noticed the colors of the trees in our neighborhood was changing rapidly–every time we go out, they’d look different (and absolutely gorgeous). We made a point to observe the weather condition everyday starting around noon. If by 3:30 PM the sun is still visible (instead of behind clouds), we’d grab our cameras and head out for about an hour and shoot all the beautiful trees in our neighborhood. We did it about five times in the span of two weeks, and managed to capture some great photos of the trees in various stages of changing colors.

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I’ve mentioned doing repaints for dolls in the past, and I’m now getting a bit more serious about it. Here’s a recent one I completed (click on picture to see the details):

The heads look like this before the face-up (paint job):

My buddy Emory runs a great place called Junkyspot for anyone who’s interested in BJD (Ball Jointed Dolls).

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Kitty Cat Diary updated:

WEBLOG:
Elena and I watched Children of Men today, and I really liked it. It’s probably one of the best films I’ve seen in a while, and I was just blown away by the sheer talent of the director and the cinematographer. There were some scenes that had me at the edge of my seat, and there were moments that made me think “That was a great camera move!” or “What a great job on the writing for that scene!” I was very impressed by how Alfonso Cuarón was able to establish the history and intimacy between Clive Owen and Julian Moore’s characters with so few scenes, yet the bond he creates by having that ping-pong ball scene in the car was totally effective and sets up the tragedy immediately later to be very powerful. Some of the chaotic combat sequences were just thrilling, without being overly flashy, yet very meticulously worked out in long takes. If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out.

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I participate in quite a few forums, and anyone who spends time on forums know that at one point or another, you’ll get drawn into a flame-war or two. I typically try to be as diplomatic and civilized as I can force myself to be, because heated discussions spin out of control if everyone just lose their tempers. I love participating in forums because it allows me to get to know people from all around the world, in all walks of life–people I would never bump into under normal circumstances in real life, yet, we all share similar passions and have similar dreams; however, I do hate it when real jerks ruin the fun for everyone by being overtly belligerent. People like that will resort to name-calling, personal attacks, and essentially behaving like angry little children–it’s not pretty when it happens. After being involved with numerous forums over the years, I’ve learned to keep an open mind, try to put myself in the shoes of others, and approach discussions by addressing both sides of opposing views. I still find it hard to be totally neutral and unbiased, simply because I am human and have emotions and opinions, but the older I get, the better I’ve learned to control myself.

In a recent thread at cgtalk.com (where I’m a Forum Leader), the topic of photorealism came up again, and it’s something that generates a lot of heated debates in most art communities. I used to waste a lot of breath arguing for the side of painterly works against photorealism, because I just prefer paintings that look like paintings instead of being indistinguishable from a photograph. Now at this point in my life, I’m learning to be more tolerant and try to be more receptive to things that aren’t necessarily my preference. The reply I made in that thread probably sums up my current mentality the best (the background of the thread is that there was a previous thread of the same topic from a long time ago, where heated debate went on for pages and pages regarding photorealism and airbrushed art):

“Are we doing this again? Wasn’t the last thread about this long enough?

Peace out.”

The original thread can be seen here.

NEWS:
It looks like I’ll be doing some work on the card game The Spoils. Tenacious Games had contacted me a few months back about doing the cards, but I was tied up with Spiderman 3 and Surf’s Up for Sony Pictures during those months. Now that my schedule’s opened up, I’ll probably end up doing roughly a dozen cards for them. I’ve done pen & paper RPG illustrations many years ago for R. Talsorian’s Cyberpunk: Pacific Rim, so this is kind of similar territory. A lot of my peers don’t like doing work for game cards and RPG manuals because these markets tend to pay less than others, but you could always negotiate a better rate to make it worth your time and effort (assuming you are worth the higher rate in the eyes of your client).

WEBLOG:
As a reader and a writer, I’ve always treasured the universal emotional truths that we all share as human beings. I’m not talking about emotions that are easily categorized like joy, pain, anger, boredom..etc, I’m talking about more complex layers of emotions that only arise from some form of dynamic interaction, not merely passive responses to the world around us. For example, the absolution of someone after being vindicated of a crime he did not commit, or the weight that dissolves from one’s back when he learns to let go of a hate that’s been the dark and destructive driving force of his existence, or rediscovering a long lost dream and rekindling the passion for making it come true. These are universal emotional truths unique to humans–ones that are far more dynamic than the simple emotions that even dogs can feel. They are the ingredients for great stories, and I’m drawn to them when I write or when I’m enjoying the works of other writers. I’ve seen so many aspiring writers that don’t understand this simple dynamic, and that’s the difference between a writer that has something to say, or a writer that simply tells a good yarn. Not that there’s anything wrong with a good yarn, but for me personally, if the story can resonate deeper than the basic entertainment appeal, then I become emotionally invested and the payoff is far more powerful. Unfortunately, there’s another category of writers–one that goes through the motion of fabricating these universal emotional truths in a manner that’s almost contemptuous of the reader/viewer’s emotional intelligence (or it puts to question the writer’s own emotional intelligence, or level of talent). Usually, when I’m experiencing the works of this type of writer, I feel either A) manipulated B) lost of emotional immersion due to the writer’s transparent execution shortcomings, or C) lost of interest due to the writer’s lack of emotional common sense. Sometimes I wish I had never learned critical analysis of creative works–be it art, writing, music, photography, or film, because when you’re less picky, you get to enjoy so much more. Even mediocre works can keep you immersed and entertained. Does all this sound very pretentious? It probably does, but that’s just what I’m feeling at the moment. Mind you though, I do enjoy the occasional cheese now and then if it’s done brilliantly (the British TV comedy Spaced comes to mind), so I’m not really as stuffy as my rantings suggest.

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I’ve been playing Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, and so far it’s pretty disappointing (I really should have read all the negative reviews online first). The people responsible for the writing of the game belongs to the third group I described above. If the gameplay itself was really fun,then I’d have been less critical, but it isn’t. I’m not even sure if I want to finish the game at this point. Maybe I should just hold out for Half-Life 2: Episode 2, as that’s the only franchise with a reliable pedigree out there these days.

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Oh My God. I never knew… (For all you fans of Oingo Boingo)

On a related note, I found out a while ago that Danny Elfman was commissioned by the Carnegie Hall to compose an original work titled “Serenada Schizophrana,” and it premiered in February of 2005. What’s also interesting was that Andy Summers (from The Police) performed on the guitar for another original piece preceeding Serenada Schizophrana. For those of you that haven’t been following Andy Summers’ career since The police broke up, he’s pretty much been immersed in the contemporary jazz scene (something that Sting’s dabbled in as well).

Have you guys noticed that the rockers of that generation tend to veer into the classical or jazz territory as they get older? I wonder what this generation of rockers will get into as they age. It seems that no matter what genre of music you start in, you’ll always gravitate towards the more conventional music styles as you age–probably because more conventional music styles have a richer history and tend to have greater musical complexity (at least according to conventional music theory). I personally have felt this as well, since the older I get, the more I gravitate towards composing orchestral works. This isn’t to say I’ve lost interest in the more edgy styles of music though–it’s just that orchestral works tend to be more challenging to compose and arrange. I’ve always been into jazz an classical even as a teenager though, so this is hardly a new transition. My greatest joy will always be hybridizing different genres though, and it’s something I’ve done for as long as I’ve been making music.

I remember distinctly back in the late 80’s, I wanted to combine orchestral and electronic music, but back then I didn’t have the necessary equipment to pull something like that off (high-end orchestral libraries were not an option back then as their cost was astronomical). When Hans Zimmer started to rise to celebrity status in Hollywood, I observed the hybrid style I had in my head become more and more popular, to the point where it’s the standard style these days for film/game/TV scores. Now that I have the necessary equipment to make that kind of music, it’s no longer something unique. I’ve always felt that being innovative and original isn’t necessarily the most important thing a creative person should strive for though–more than anything, simply expressing what resonates within you is the most important objective, and if you happen to be unique, then your work will be perceived as so. So many people mistake innovation and originality for “better,” and it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve seen and heard and read plenty of very unique but completely pointless and atrocious creative works that used “being different” as a crutch and a gimmick (a lot of modern art comes to mind). But who knows? Maybe those people were actually “unique” and they did express what resonated within. It could just be that I’m the one that’s too mundane.

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I can’t believe it’s time to add more storage space to my rig already (I just ordered a 750GB hard drive from Fry’s, and a SATA 3GB/IDE133 controller card from newegg.com). Between my two machines, I will have almost two terabytes of storage space, plus 600GB of backup storage that’s off-line most of the time (I only hook them up when backing up files). The new hard drive will be taking over the sample libraries duties, but I’m a bit nervous about streaming all of my samples from one drive–it could lead to audio crackles and pops during recording and playback. At least I’ll be installing it internally though, so it’ll still be performing much better than an exterior option (which was what i considered at first).

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I was at the Palo Alto branch of Fry’s a few days ago, and it was such an appalling experience. For example, their DVD sections were grossly mislabeled, and their foreign section didn’t even have the DVD’s in alphabetical order! How the hell can anyone find anything in that condition? I talked to one of their employees about it, and he said they’ve badgered the manager about doing something, but the manager kept blowing them off, and upper management won’t listen to the little guys, as they always take the managers’ word for everything. He also told me that many have quit because the managers refused to listen to employees’ suggestions on how to improve the store. I talked to one of the managers, and sure enough, his eyes were glazed over as he fed me some line about “we’re looking into it.” They need to fire a bunch of managers at that store, because it’s probably one of the worst managed stores I’ve ever seen.

NEWS:
Started working on a couple of new tracks. Here’s a preview, still in rough sketch form–essentially undeveloped ideas that needs to be fleshed out and taken somewhere:

They’re Coming - Cue for an action/thriller story, during a scene when the antagonist are approaching and they came prepared to end it all. (That synth wailing sound isn’t a mistake–it’s there to create a dissonant feel for agitated tention.)

Just One Reason - This track I limited myself to using only Reason 3 for everything–my way of learning a new piece of software by doing a complete project in it.

WEBLOG:
I rarely have freetime to work on music, and it’s been my number one frustration for many years now. The problem is more complex than simply not having the time, it’s also that whatever little time I have to work on music, I use it to record new ideas that’s been swimming around in my head since that last time I’ve had time to do music. In the end, I accumulate a bunch of unfinished sketches that I never have time to finish (as you can tell if you browse the music section of my site). Maybe one day when my life becomes less hectic I’ll find the time to actually finish and polish some of the works in progress.

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I went to Borders to flip through Spectrum 13 the other day (my copy was sent to my brother’s house, and I haven’t had time to pick it up yet), and I was ecstatic over the print quality of my piece. It is one of the best printings of my work I’ve seen in the last fifteen years of my career as a professional artist, and part of the reason was because Spectrum asked all the artists to do their own RGB to CYMK conversions. I slaved over mine and made it look as absolutely pristine as possible, and it really paid off. I should strive to do my own conversions from now on, as I’ve had my work butchered in the past by publishers that had no idea what the hell they were doing (I’m not going to mention any names–they know who they are).

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Elena’s back in Fuzhou, China to take care of some business stuff, and this is the longest we’ll be apart in the last five years since we’ve met. Previously the longest was a week, but this time she’ll be gone for 10+ days. I used to have a hard time sleeping when she’s not home (same goes for her when I’m not home–she becomes an insomniac, staying up late watching DVD’s), but this time I managed just fine (partly because I’ve been dead tired from all the crazy all-nighter deadlines for Spiderman 3). Now that she’s been living in the States for five months, she’s gotten used to how clean, organized, spacious, modern, and quiet things are here, not to mention how curteous, professional, and compassionate Americans in general are in public places. These qualities are a sharp contrast compared to China–where all the values we treasure here simply doesn’t exist, or are extremely rare. I had lunch with the VP of the studio I’m freelancing for recently, and they have partners in China and need to travel there periodically. His impression of China was exactly the same as mine, and it was a shock for him to see the level of dishonesty, rudeness, apathy, and utter lack of scruple displayed by nearly everyone he came into contact with. Now that I’ve been back in the States for a while, I’m not nearly as frustrated and angry as I was about everything as when I was in China. That whole experience is now in the past, and it’s simply a different world I would never want to return to.

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If you haven’t seen On the Edge of Bladerunner yet, definitely watch it if you’re a fan of Bladerunner. It’s a 50 minute documentary about the film’s history in retrospect, and contains some really interesting interviews with the crew.

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I finally broke down and purchased Half-Life 2: Episode One over the Steam network. HL 1 & 2 are some of my ultimate favorite games ever, so there’s no way in hell I’ll skip anything in the franchise; however, I had my doubts about using Steam (although I support the idea) since I heard so many horror stories. Now that I’ve used it to purchase the Holiday Package (which includes a bunch of other HL-related games) I’m relieved that it was a delight to use. The videos you can download on Steam are also much better quality than you could find elsewhere–Valve’s video player for Steam is one of the best I’ve seen in terms of image quality. I can’t wait to get my ass back to City 17–I just know it’ll be an exciting ride.

NEWS:
ImagineFX magazine’s posted on their website the interview they did with me, originally printed in the first issue of the magazine. For those of you that missed it when it was in circulation, you can now read it here

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Spectrum 13 has shipped, and one of my paintings was accepted this year. (For those of you that don’t know, Spectrum is the most prestigious annual publication in the field of sci-fi/fantasy art.) You can find out more from these links:

About Spectrum, the annual sci-fi/fantasy art publication

About Spectrum 13, the latest in the series

You can purchase the book by clicking on the image:

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I’m still in the Bay Area at the moment. I have no idea when the studio wants me to move down to Burbank, and I’ll remain busy freelancing for them in the foreseeable future–until I get snatched up by another studio, that is. If that were to happen it would be too bad, because I like the guys there and my tour of the studio gave me a good impression of the place.

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Been a long time since I updated Kitty Cat Diary. Not that I stopped shooting, just that I’ve been too busy to prepare the images for the web. I took a couple of days off this weekend and got caught up though. You can see the latest entries here:

WEBLOG:
I used to pull all-nighters a lot when I was in the comic book industry, writing and illustrating comics for a living (if you can call the laughable money I made “a living”). When I defected to video games, I’ve only had to do an all-nighter once in three years and five shipped games (the all-nighter was for a Playstation game called “Pastrana VS. McGrath Freestyle Motorcross,” and I actually got to design the level as well as texture it–it’s the level with cherry blossoms, taiko drums, shrines, and lots of snow). In CG animation, I never had to pull an all-nighter–maybe really late nights, but never seeing the sun come up. In the last week, I had to pull three all-nighters straight on Spiderman 3 and Surf’s Up, with roughly two to three hours of sleep between each day. I took a caffein pill on the first day, and Elena boiled up a pot of jinseng–they helped to keep me awake and alert. The second and third day I did without any caffein pills and just drank the jinseng. I didn’t really feel any difference, so I’ll do without the caffein pills the next time I pull an all-nighter.

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One thing I don’t like about using WordPress for blogging is that although I have full control over everything (CSS coding), can host it myself, add plugins for more features, and make my own backups, I don’t have all the nifty features of communities like Livejournal and MySpace (they’re the ones that most of my friends use). So I figured out a way to implement it–a simple link to my own Livejournal/MySpace pages, which will then be linked to all of my friends, and also linked back to my site. Those links are now implemented into the menu on the left.

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Here are some quickie movie reivews of the stuff I’ve watched lately:

Brick - I was excited to watch this, as the guys at Filmspotting (one of the best film review podcasts on the internet) raved about it, but the film didn’t live up to expectations. I understand what the director tried to do–bending the noir genre by setting it in a high school with teenagers, but the whole thing felt more like an exercise in style than something that’s truly heartfelt. I can’t help but think if the film had been shot in a more realisitc manner with natural dialogues, instead of the hardcore noir dialogues and David Lynch-esque scene setups, it would’ve resonated more emotionally. There’s something inherently fake about teenagers playing grownups–something that writers do occassionally, but rarely do it well enough to be forgiven. Teenagers without any trace of what makes that age group unique, are not teenagers anymore, and I think that’s essentially what’s wrong with writers trying to push inexistent maturity upon characters that just aren’t ready for it yet.

Spanglish - I was afraid it would be one of those mindless and patronizing romantic comedies that plagues mainstream Hollywood, but Elena and I ended up really enjoying the film. The dialogues were unpredictable, and although it was light on serious social commentary (which isn’t the point of the film at all) about racial or cultural issues, it packed enough great moments to hold our interest–it even got some big laughs out of us.

And oh yeah, Paz Vega is quite something in that movie. There’s a scene of Adam Sandler yelling at her to get out of the wind because he was being distracted by the view of her being back-lit by the moonlight, with her dress clinging to her, revealing all kinds of curves. It was quite a vision. There’s a Chinese phrase the describes curaceous women as “Protudes in the front, sticks up in the back.” Quite fitting in this case. Strangely enough, I’ve also seen her in Sex and Lucia (from the director of Lovers of the Arctic Circle), and in the nude she isn’t that curvaceous at all. It just goes to show you how much clothes can shape a woman’s figure.

Battle Star Galactica Season 3 - Still one of the best shows on TV (although I don’t really have time to watch TV at all, so I’m not exactly up to date on other shows out there besides Lost). I’m so happy to see Sharon reinstated as an officer, although I found it hard to swallow that Adama would be that careless. I mean, everyone still remember that Cylons can be mind-controlled to do things, right? What’s to stop Sharon from another murderous episode, or worse, an evil betrayal? I’ve only watched up to Exodus part 1, and I hear part 2 was a mind-blower. Can’t wait to see it.

Poseidon - I can’t believe this is from the same director of Das Boot. It’s probably the most typical mainstream action/thriller film I’ve seen in a long time–totally predictable, by the numbers, and without any trace of creative passion from the people behind the lens.

Eight Below - As much as I love dogs and as cute as the ones in the movie were, I kept thinking the dogs were way too human-like in the movie–then I remembered it’s supposed to be a Disney film.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - A pretty good chick flick for teenage girls. I would watch anything Alexis Bledel is in, because she’s such a rare mix of angelic grace, shyness, and natural beauty.

X-Men 3: The Last Stand - It’s no Brian Singer, but it wasn’t a disaster either. On the other hand, it would’ve taken a really terrible director to wreck the standard set by the previous two films. Even a hack director can simply ape the vibe of the previous two films and end up with a half-way decent sequel.

It’s interesting to see the previous generation of cute teenage actresses getting older and losing some of their fresh-faced appeal. I used to think Anna Paquin’s a total cutie, now she’s starting to look a little strange to me. But Kitty Pryde–meeeeow!