Ethereality News & Weblog

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(EDIT: Gamasutra/Game Career Guide has now published an updated version of this blog entry as an article. Although the original version here is more subjective and candid, the published version is more objective and complete. Both versions contain sections that the other does not have. You can read the published version here.)

I rarely talk about my day job in the blog, and it’s mostly because I feel it’s not such a good idea to discuss your job in a personal blog. It’s in my nature to tell it like it is–I don’t bullshit or beat around the bush–otherwise what’s the point of having a personal blog? Understandably, honesty isn’t exactly the best policy when discussing the ins and outs of your job publicly. But maybe I can shed some light on what I do at my day job–I’m sure some of you are interested, especially those who are in the game industry or are a fan of video games.

As the studio art director, I have to oversee the art quality of all the games we develop or publish, including advertising and publishing material. Most of my time is spent on 1st party games as that’s our main bread and butter, while 2nd and 3rd party games don’t get as much love, since they are usually developed externally and I just review them during milestones–either signing off on them or make a list of comments with references, mock-ups, paintovers…etc for the external art team/contractors.

When a game is in its infancy, it’s usually just an idea, and it has to evolve into a fully completed game design document (detailing everything about how the game is to be played–from control layout, game rules, user interface navigation, game mechanics, story, content, level design…etc to everything else that can be written down or shown in diagrams). Since I’m a senior manager, I’m invited to all review meetings, and my involvement in a game starts at roughly the point where the initial idea is pitched to the senior managers (usually consists of the CEO, studio director, VP of production, VP of technology, VP of creative, studio art director, and senior producers). We either like the idea and decide to go forward, or kill the idea right then and there. If we go forward, then the game designer will work on the design document, and we review it when it’s completed. The game design meeting usually last very long because everyone will have an opinion about what is fun and what isn’t, and what our target audience will or won’t like. There’s also the very important decision of setting the scope of the game–whether it’s a design we feel deserves AAA treatment (largest budget, longest production time), or maybe just an A, or even B. There may be design elements we chop off right then and there if we decide the idea may not warrant a AAA status, and the scope of the game will have to be pulled back to accommodate an A or B status production. At the end of the meeting, we decide which producer is to own the project.

Once a producer is assigned, I’ll work closely with the designer and the producer on determining the visual style of the game. Often the designer already has an idea when he put the design document together. If his idea is a good one, I’ll use it as a starting point and then refine it, add to it, evolve it…etc. If I don’t feel the designer’s idea for the visual style works, then I’ll come up with something and try to sell it to the producer and the designer–usually with references, mock-ups, sketches…etc. They either like what I come up with, or we pow wow back and forth until we find a common ground. Either way, anything visual is my responsibility, so I’m the driving force behind the visual development, but as part of a team, I also respect the input/opinion of co-workers, no matter what their position is.

After deciding on the visual style, I’ll sit down with the producer and help him budget/schedule the art production by going through the entire art assets list. I have to weigh the pros and cons of using expensive art resources that are very good, or cheap ones that are not as reliable. Our internal art team is quite small, so the bulk of our art production is done externally. I have to pick which arthouse or freelance artists to use, and that usually means I have to give them art tests to make sure they can nail the style we have decided on. Sometimes I would have already done some preproduction work (concepts art, mock-ups) and will use them as the benchmark to judge the art tests. Who we decide to use is always a mix of different factors–how good is the result, how long it took, how much it costs, where they are located, and how well they communicate. Once a decision is made, contracts are drawn up, and we move onto the next phase.

Once we’ve locked down the resources, we officially kick start preproduction, which usually consists of concept art (character design, background design, architecture interior/exterior design…etc), storyboards, logo design, GUI (Graphical User Interface) mock-ups, model/texture/animation tests, render tests…etc. This is also when we sometimes do our on-the-fly R&D work, to makes sure a particular production pipeline is doable for the project. Often some of the preproduction work is already done by us internally, but sometimes we leave it all for the external guys to tackle. I’m the kind of art director that likes the team to take on a sense of ownership, so I try to get them pumped up and feeling challenged. Nothing annoys me more than artists who are just going through the motions with no sense of ownership, no pride, and no creativity–just showing up for a paycheck. Guys like that eventually get fired because game development is all about passion–if you don’t have it, it shows in your work. There was a time back when I was just a grunt artist that didn’t feel passionate about the games I was working on, and believe me, it showed. I could tell the love wasn’t there, and other people could tell too. But somewhere along the way I learned that you have to put in everything you’ve got, no matter what it is you’re working on. That is how you can be the best artist you can be–by trying your hardest always.

At this point the programmers will have a basic prototype engine for us to throw placeholder art into, so we can see how things would work in the game. A game at this stage is quite fun to look at, because it’s a mess of placeholder art, programmer art, designer scribbles..etc.

Now comes production, which is when all the art assets used in the game are generated. This is the long haul, and is the bulk of a game’s development time. I have to track art assets as they are generated, review them, critique them, do mock-ups, show more references, paintover stuff that isn’t working…etc–basically to get the art team to deliver what I deem as high quality work suitable for the style of the game. On the managing side, I have to keep track of the outstanding tasks, make sure stuff gets turned in on time, watch out for kinks in the production pipeline and resolve any problems that come up during art production. I also have to assess the strengths and weaknesses of artists on the team and assign the right task to each person. If someone isn’t working out on a task, I try assigning him a different task. Usually I try to assign tasks that the artists are interested in, and I always give them to benefit of the doubt that they can pull it off, until they prove otherwise.

To be a good art director, you have to have the eye for spotting potential. I’ve more than a few times put artists on tasks they’ve never done before and knew nothing about, because I recognized the potential and I knew with proper direction, they will not only pull it off, but do a beautiful job too. So far I’ve been right every time, and the artists always appreciate me believing in them and challenging them to grow, to learn, to improve, and to mature as artists. Some art directors are just there to make sure things look good, while other art directors act more like mentors–I belong to the latter group. I have a knack for teaching, and I know I’m a damn good teacher as the past students I’ve taught told me so after I stopped teaching. So naturally, my style of art directing is more like mentoring, and this doesn’t work with every artist–the younger artists tend to respond to that style of art directing more than older artists, because the younger artists are typically less experienced and thirsty for knowledge. When need to, I can switch gears and be a more co-worker type of art director and drop the nurturing mentor aspect, as I know the veteran artists prefer that. It also just happens naturally too because the veteran guys know what they’re doing, and all they really need is for you to point them the right direction and they’ll forge ahead. Some of them probably have more technical knowledge than the art director does, as veteran guys are the ones in the trenches everyday, dealing with every little problem in the art production first hand.

During the production, there are usully a few important milestones–first playable (when it actually starts to resemble a game, no matter how ugly or primitive it is), alpha (when all the game mechanics actually work, but still have unfinished art, music…etc), beta (everything should be completed, except there are bugs, and maybe some minor art updates that wouldn’t affect testing), and gold master candidate (the fully completed and tested game that can go into duplication for shipping/releasing). Sometimes during production, you might find out during one particular meeting that the higher ups are not feeling the visual direction of the game–that’s when you need to think fast on your feet and come up with a solution right away. This usually involves doing some mock-ups and getting the higher ups to sign off on them, and then implement the new direction down the chain of production.

Towards the end of the production is when things are the most hairy, because that’s when you start to run out of budget, and if there were any situations that forced you to paint yourself into a corner during production, this is when you really start to feel the full blunt force of it. This is also when everyone is on the edge because it’s crunch time (for you non-industry people, it means working longer hours and weekends to get things done), so it can be a real challenge to keep everyone on the team feeling positive while we keep forging ahead. The most difficult part is probably the technical hurdles–when graphics and programming are not working well together and the artists must work closely with the programmers to find solutions, or else the game will crash at certain spots, or graphical bugs will remain open.

Then comes that special day when we go gold (once the quality assurance department declares all bugs–at least the priority ones, are all fixed)–that’s when the beers come out and people celebrate. There are usually some support tasks after we go gold, but they are usually pretty easy stuff.

So, what is the difference between an art director and a regular artist–especially a good art director?

Based on my experience, art directors that can’t walk the walk and only talk the talk are the kind of art directors that artists hate to work under–unless they really know what the hell they’re talking about (maybe they studied art but just isn’t very talented at it, but knows a lot about it). The basic mentality is that if the art director doesn’t have any expertise or experience as an artist, what right does he have to tell a bunch of talented, trained, and experienced artists what to do? I’ve worked under an art director like that it was like a bad joke, but on the other hand, I’ve worked with producers who surprisingly do have very good eyes for art, and can art direct competently to a certain extent (but they do have limits). These guys are usually well-versed in different art styles and are fans of animation, comic books, fine artists, illustrators…etc–basically the kind of guys who are not artists, but probably own quite a bit of art-related books and pay more attention to art than most people do.

The worst kind are the ones who are not artists and don’t even know the correct terminologies used in basic art foundation theories, and they spew a bunch of nonsense that makes no sense to anyone, and use ridiculously vague adjectives and verbs to describe things that actually do have proper art terminologies–thus confusing the hell out of artists they’re trying to direct. They also know nothing about well-known artists, filmmakers, various styles/mediums, notable animations/films/comics/art history, and cannot reference or make analogies that artists can actually relate to. Guys like that do far more damage than good, and should never be allowed to art direct unless there’s no one else qualified, but believe it or not, some do manage to bullshit their way into the industry and actually work as art directors. BUT, things are never that simple in real life, since what an art director is varies from company to company. There are generally the following types of art directors:

1) Someone who is really a manager (tracking art assets, scheduling/budgeting, drafting contracts…etc), but not an artist. (The above described worst kind falls in this category, but for some reason they act as art directors and not managers as they should. If they simply just managed, I would have nothing negative to say about them at all.)
2) Someone who has a great eye for visuals, knows a lot about art, have leadership skills, but may not be a great artist.
3) Someone who is a very good artist and can also lead other artists.
4) Someone who is a combination of all three (with varying degrees of emphasis on each).

The best art directors I’ve seen are almost always the ones who have extensive experience as artists, understand the art production pipeline, are talented and passionate, can multi-task very well, are easy to get along with, know how to task you according to your strength and interests, and know how to weigh the pros and cons of every situation carefully and make the right decision. These guys can take something you’ve done and quickly paintover on top and show you exactly why yours didn’t work, and how you can make it better–guys that can walk the walk and talk the talk.

Recently there was a thread on cgtalk.com about art directors, and I made a post there, stating the qualities a good art director should have. They are qualities I strive to meet, even though I may not be on target all the time. It does take the right personality to art direct, and if you don’t have those characteristics, you will not be able to art direct efficiently (this is why many production artists or lead artists might be excellent artists, but they never get promoted to being the art director because they just don’t have the right personality for it). But here’s another industry complexity–at some studios, the lead artist is more like the third type of art director, and they have someone else they call an art director, but is really an art manager (the first type). Pretty confusing, huh?

Anyway, the list of qualities I listed were:

An AD is not just a production veteran that knows the pipeline very well, and can use the essential softwares at an expert level.

An AD is not someone who just knows how to draw/paint/design at an advanced level.

An AD is not someone who is simply knowledgeable about a wide range of styles, genres, mediums.

An AD is not just someone who can schedule, budget, and enforce milestones.

An AD is not just someone who is on top of what new tools are available for improving the pipeline.

An AD is not just someone who understands the big picture and can work with producers, CEO’s, director of technology, creative director, marketing, publishing…etc at the highest level to establish the visual look of every single product coming in and out of a studio.

An AD is not just someone who can carry himself in a manner so when meeting with clients, publishers, investors…etc he could be pursuasive when discussing the visual aspects all projects at the highest level.

An AD is not just someone who knows how to utilize the right external resources (arthouses, freelance contractors), but also know how to manage them.

An AD is not just someone who can nurture and inspire a team of artists.

An AD is not just someone who can pass on his own knowledge and skills so younger/less experiencd artists can benefit from his expertise.

An AD is not just someone who other artists on the team respects because he walks the walk, not just talk the talk.

An AD is not just someone that knows how to use each artist on the team to their strengths, or how to take care of them so they are happy when working on projects.

An AD is not just someone who has the ability to spot potential, and task artists with something they’ve never done before, simply because he knows they can do it if given the right amount of encouragement and direction.

An AD is not just someone all the senior managers and top level personnels respect and rely on, and would feel lost without.

An AD is not just someone who instinctively knows what works visually and what doesn’t, or what is appropriate/effective and what isn’t for any given project.

An AD is not just someone who knows how every aspect of the visuals should look–from user interface, retail box advertising, in-game graphics, concept art, animation, logo design, to font choices.

An AD (a good one) is all of those things combined. That is why it’s so damn hard to find a good AD. Most candidates applying for AD positions only have a few of those qualities, but not all. Many are not good artists at all, but can manage. Others are great artists but can’t manage or lead. Also, a good AD for one project may not be the right person for a different project, though some are very versatile, but they are rare. If an AD can go from something like a hardcore action/realistic title, to a wacky cartoony title, to a charming/cutesy casual title, to a stylized anime-influenced title, then he’s a damn good AD (assuming he has all the other traits mentioned).

What makes that list confusing is that in some studios, they break all these responsibilities up into two or more different positions (like the lead artist/art manager combo). I guess I have the short end of the stick at my job because I do all of those things, and not for just one game, but multiple games at once (anything that comes through our company). Sometimes I find myself juggling five or six games at once, so it can be pretty insane. They know I’m over-taxed and I need help, but whether they can afford to get me help is a different issue altogether.

Sometimes I do miss the days of simply being an artist.

Want to know how much of a glutton for punishment I am? Because I love music so much and our company does not have an audio director, I volunteer to direct the audio on the games I work on. As a composer, it’s far more effective for me to communicate to the composers we work with, since I speak the language of music and can give them direction on composition, arrangement, and even mixing/mastering. Often I’ll just go ahead and describe the orchestration and they’ll try to match it. Composers really appreciate it because instead of getting comments from a producer telling them to “make it more scary sounding,” they’ll get something from me that’s more like “take out the vibraphones as that’s killing the mood of the cue. Add some contrabassoon low note drones. Have the strings play some high pitched harmonics and tremolos. Change the harmonic progression so there’s no resolution–just one dissonant harmony after another.” It makes a world of difference because vague and non-musical terms can be easily misinterpreted, and with me giving precise musical feedback, there’s no room for misinterpretation.

So, there you go–that’s what I do everyday at work.

NEWS:
A few of my paintings are featured in a new fantasy art collection titled Fantasy Art Now, written by Martin McKenna, with a foreward by Boris Vallejo.

WEBLOG:
Enchanted was a comic book series I created/wrote/illustrated for a few years in the mid-late 90’s. After all these years, I still get the odd email here and there asking me whether I’ll ever continue the series, and what happens to the characters. I just got an email about Enchanted the other day, and every time I do, I always wonder if I should revisit the Enchanted universe at some point.

Truth is, I stopped enjoying doing comics towards the end of my comic book career. I didn’t enjoy having to draw and paint the same things over and over, or all the stuff that I didn’t have an interest in but must anyway because the script called for it. For example, I enjoy depicting characters the most, but if I write a scene that involved the characters walking around in a busy city, then I’d have to illustrate all those damn buildings, hundreds of windows, various types of cars, traffic lights/signs, storefronts…etc over and over and over throughout the scene. You get the picture? Also at some point I figured out that art for me was a means to an end–the real passion for me lies in storytelling. As soon as I figured that out I no longer enjoyed doing comics, because I could just write and tell the stories I wanted to tell, instead spending all that time illustrating the imagery. Not that I don’t enjoy drawing and painting, just that I’d prefer to pick and choose what I wanted to draw and paint, not simply because the script demanded it.

Will I ever continue the Enchanted saga? I really have no idea.

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Portal is one of the best games I’ve played in a very long time. Initially, I thought of Portal as a nifty little extra in the Orange Box lineup, but after playing it, Episode 2, and Team Fortress 2, I have to say that Portal was the one that stole my heart, and it alone was worth the price of admission. I thought it was going to be a challenging brain twister and that’s it, but Portal ended up being one of the funniest, creepiest, and cutest games I’ve ever had the pleasure of playing, not to mention one of the best ending credit songs ever. This game is a testament to the sheer brilliance of Valve’s storytelling. Portal could’ve been just an exercise in clever game mechanics (Valve hired the students who designed the original game, which was a student project), but Valve gave it a soul when they weaved their special brand of storytelling magic into the game. In my book, Portal is an instant classic and a masterpiece.

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I was very disappointed by Auralex MoPADs. Based on all the recommendations that recording/musician-related magazines constantly give to their readers regarding the MoPADs, you’d think the damn things were the cat’s meow. Not so. Not by a long shot. If you’re interested in the details, read this thread that I started at recording.org.

So be warned–MoPADs will not necessarily do what Auralex claims. Do some math first before you waste your money like I did.

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Some recent films I’ve watched:

Grindhouse - If you’re the type that can enjoy mindless fun every once a while, you’ll probably have a good time watching Grindhouse. I have to say, Rodriguez’s Planet of Terror was a lot more entertaining than Tarantino’s Death Proof, but in general I’ve always felt that Tarantino was by far the more talented one.

Knocked Up - Fun, but overrated IMO. Felt like they sometimes chose to put more jokes on the screen at the expense of more in-depth character development.

Transformers - It’s not really worth writing about, except to bash Michael Bay as a director, and that just gets old. If he had grown more as a storyteller/director, then maybe there’s something to write about, but it’s the same old jackhammering of all your senses during every moment, bombarding you with overly dramatic music even in irrelevant scenes, so that the audience can be lead through every scene by Bay’s iron claws at the nape of the neck. The best way to sum up Michael Bay’s directing is that he’s directing for people who are severely lacking in emotional intelligence, so he cranks everything up to 11–be it unnecessary use of slow-motion, unnecessary emphasis on shots that play no importance whatsoever to the story development or even the scene at hand with close-ups, inappropriately dramatic music, and pointless dramatic lighting.

In the end, it’s all mindless fun anyway I guess–hot chick, robots kicking each other’s ass–maybe we should all stop expecting Michael Bay to one day become a filmmaker with depth and maturity. The man likes to make disposable entertainment, so maybe that’s all we should ever expect from him.

Surf’s Up - When I did work for Surf’s Up, I thought Chicken Joe was the ugliest thing ever. But now that I’ve finally watched it, I think he’s actually my favorite character in the story. My buddy Chris is a lot like Chicken Joe, so it was hard not to like Joe. Overall I enjoyed the film a lot, as it was not the typical pop-culture joke laden fare with talking animals that we’ve all become impatient with by now. The humor felt a lot more genuine, and the pseudo documentary approach was very refreshing. The surfing scenes were just stunningly gorgeous–Sony’s animation department kicked ass on the CG work.

Spiderman 3 - I was never a fan of this franchise, but I watch films like this simply to keep up-to-date with the current CG quality bar. Not much to say except films like this are more or less disposable entertainment (although at a level that’s less insulting to the audience’s emotional intelligence than Michael Bay films).

Ocean’s Thirteen - I didn’t like this one as much as the previous two. It just wasn’t as clever, thrilling, or humorous as the previous films.

A couple of TV shows worthy mentioning:
How I Met Your Mother - My brother Dennis recommended this show to me, and it’s one of my favorite shows now. Really good sitcom writing is hard to find–most sitcoms may get one chuckle out of me in an entire episode–if even that. How I Met Your Mother is far funnier than most sitcoms in rotation currently, and are obviously written by writers that are young, hip, and with the kind of wicked sense of humor I identify with.

Kid Nation - I have a basic dislike for reality shows in general, but I admit that they can be compelling during moments when the people involved forget the camera crew is there, and display something genuinely profound in the way they interact with another human being. I knew this show would have that “Lord of the Flies” appeal in some aspects, so I gave it a shot. Now it’s one of my favorite shows because I find that children are just less pretentious than adults due to lesser control over their emotions, and they are less likely to do what is “expected of them” on camera (even if it’s simply because they don’t really understand what people will expect of them). When children get worked up, they’re a lot less likely to care about the presence of a camera crew, and you really see their true colors come through. The show may be a bit too controlled to be truly interesting, but it’s understandable that the producers couldn’t possibly have allowed a “Lord of the Flies” scenario–that would’ve been too disturbing and too uncontrolled.

And of course, I never miss an episode of The Office. Jim and Pam forever!

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I read W. Somerset Maugham’s The Razor’s Edge recently. It started out a bit disappointing, but became more compelling as you start to care about Larry’s spiritual journey. The excessive description of high-class society and its parties got a bit tiresome, as the novel could’ve maintained its full impact without all those descriptions of inconsequential characters that are mentioned only as scene dressing, and then never mentioned again. It’s as if Maugham was afraid that the readers will forget what a society snob Elliot was, and has to keep reminding us at every opportunity. In the end, the book’s insight into religion and spirituality was fairly basic, and as a human drama, lacked poignancy to have left a strong impression. I’ve always wanted to read something by Maugham, and now I have. Can’t say it has compelled me to want to read any more of his works though.

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Many years ago, I had written about Mary Kay Letourneau’s case in the editorial section of one of the issues of Enchanted, and it caused Enchanted to be banned in one of the states (can’t remember which one, but I think it’s one of the southern states). Essentially, I had expressed sympathy for the couple, as I felt it was not a typical case of child rape, as the circumstances were very different from what we usually think of as child rape criminal cases. I’m not going to discuss the details of the case since you can easily find all the details online. Anyway, I have not kept up with the case for a couple of years, and I’m very happy to find out that after Mary Kay finished her sentence (seven years later), the two were still very much in love and are now married.

I was going to write a lengthy vent on how one-size-fits-all law systems will always cause injustices as there will always be exceptions that defy categorization and generalization, but I think this is something either you agree or don’t agree with, depending on your personal dispositions.

When I try to rationalize all the reasons why I was/am on May Kay and Vili’s side, I can see obvious mirroring in my own life that makes me sympathetic to their case. My first serious girlfriend was nine years older than me, and I was a minor at the time (I was seventeen). At no time during our relationship did the factor of age ever come up, except when early on I asked her if she cared that I was so much younger. Her reply was, “No, I think of you as someone my age–in fact you seem older than me in many ways.” It was a relationship as normal as any other, and the idea that she could’ve gone to jail based on a technicality just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve also had friends who were certainly precocious and displayed far more maturity and wisdom than some of the adults I knew, and they were treated badly by adults that were inferior human beings in every way. I was a precocious kid myself, and I certainly knew what the hell I wanted and had far more conviction in my life’s goals than most adults around me, so I can understand very well why Mary Kay did not see Vili as a typical thirteen-year old (the fact he was artistically talented resonated with me as well). There was also a point in my life where I was in love with a teacher, and we were very close and shared a deep bond (I was sixteen, and she was thirty-five). I was asked to go live with her and her family in Japan, and I really wanted to, except it didn’t feel right to intrude as she had two daughters and was in an unhappy marriage. Instinctively I knew if I had accepted her offer, it would’ve lead to a lot of drama, and I just couldn’t disrupt her life like that. But other than my own life experiences making me predisposed to taking Mary Kay and Vili’s side, is probably the fact that deep down inside, I’ve always been an idealist and romantic, and I’ve always felt that the legal system for the most part is flawed (thought I understand the need for the law to treat everyone the same, even when we are so different from one another). Whether Mary Kay and Vili’s marriage is a successful one that lasts a lifetime remains to be seen, but at this point, it’s no longer important because how many people’s “normal” marriages are successful anyway? The fact that after all the tears and hardship they still remained together and got married is enough, and for me, the curtain is drawn here, and it’s a happy ending in my book.

NEWS:
ImagineFX have collected a bunch of artwork, tutorials, interviews, articles…etc from past issues into one volume called Fantasy Art Exhibition Vol.1, and it contains the interview they did with me (along with the tutorial I did). You can now also read the interview directly from their site as well.

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Been a long time since I updated Kitty Cat Diary. Not that I’ve stopped taking photos of Elena–just that I’ve been too busy to sort through them. For it looks like I’m all caught up though. Latest entries:

Shot a quickie session around our apartment’s pool/entrance too:

WEBLOG:
I finally got the Bioshock demo to work on my machine. It seems like it was only months ago that I had upgraded my video card, and now I’m behind the times already. I had to run the demo at much lower resolution than I had hoped to (I have a 24″ widescreen monitor), and the audio was stuttering the entire time. At least the surround sound was working though (I have a 7.1 system), unlike with the Valve games running on the Source engine. I always have problems getting the surround sound to work with the Source games, and often even typing “snd_digital suround 1″ in the command console doesn’t work.

I have been looking forward to Bioshock ever since it was announced years ago. Being a huge fan of System Shock 2, there was no questions as to whether I would play this “spiritual sequel.” I could see why all there’s all this hype about the game (some of the reviews read like love letters), and I did enjoy the demo quite a bit, but I have say it didn’t quite grab a hold of me in the same way that System Shock 2 or any of the Half-Life games did. Perhaps after playing through the entire game I will feel differently. For now I’ll hold back any final thoughts until after I’ve played the whole game.

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I have wanted an IEM (In Ear Monitor–the kind that goes into your ear canal, like an earplug) for a long time now, but never could justify the purchase (the good ones will cost you around $200), but now that I’m on the train everyday, I had enough reasons to go ahead and get one. It was down to between the Ultimate Ears Super.fi 5 Pro and the Shure E4c, and I ended up getting the Shure. Boy do I regret it. Not that the E4c’s are bad headphones, just that the bass is really anemic and the highs too shrill for my personal taste. I wish I had gotten it from a different online store too, because the one I got it from does not allow refunds on headphones. I had read all kinds of reviews and debates between audiophiles online beforehand, and my instinct told me to go with the one with the flatter frequency response. The Super.fi 5 Pro is supposed to have more hyped bass, which seemed like a bad thing for accuracy, but now I think when used with a portable mp3 player, it probably would even things out, as the portable mp3 players are always short on bass anyway. Now with the E4c, I have to jack up the bass in my Nomad 3 Jukebox, and turn down the highs as well for a more pleasant sound. See, I’m not even a bass head–in fact I can’t stand hyped up bass, so that tells you just how anemic the bass is on the E4c. Now I’ve gotten the right EQ setting going on the Nomad 3, the E4c’s are starting to grow on me, but I just wish I didn’t have to compensate so much with the EQ to get it there though.

On a side note, my Nomad 3 is starting to feel a bit ancient. Compared to the current generation, it’s quite bulky (about double the size of an iPod), and 20 GB just isn’t enough anymore. I have close to 200 GB of music on my machine at home, so naturally I’d want to get as much of it into a portable player as possible. Maybe I’ll upgrade to the next generation of the Creative Vision? I won’t be going the iPod route again just like last time, since I’ve tried my brother Dennis’s video iPod and I think the ergonomics isn’t quite as good as the Creative products (can’t jump between different hierarchy of directories quickly). It doesn’t even have a customizable multi-band EQ setting, which is a deal breaker for me.

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It’s been a few years since I last did a clean reinstall of the OS (WinXP Pro), and with all the crap I install on my system, it always becomes boggled down eventually (even if I clean the registry and optimize settings regularly). This weekend I did a repair install, and I thought it had fixed the problem, as I was able to have Sonar 6 running a lot smoother than before, and actually got some composing done over the weekend. But as soon as I had to reboot for something, I found out all the old problems are still there (Explorer would freeze up, mouse detection would not work, random reboots…etc). Looks like I’m going to have to do a clean reinstall anyway. That’s always a PITA, but at least the machine will run smoothly for at least another year or so (I hope) before it starts to go weird again.

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I’m thinking about selling my Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8 lens, as it sometimes misses the mark when focusing–especially in portrait orientation using one of the non-cross hair sensors. That lens is already considered a very good one, and from here on the only way up is the Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8 L, which costs about $1,250 brand new. A bit too rich for my blood, but I might give it a shot on ebay and see if I find a good used one.

Speaking of selling, I’m tempted to sell my Novation ReMOTE SL 25 too, since I have never gotten it to work with Sonar (it did, for about a day with Sonar 5, but not with Sonar 6). I tried the Generic Control Surface approach and the ACT approach with Sonar, but neither could get the transport buttons to work, and it’s also an one-way communication in terms of feedback–the LCD on the ReMOTE SL would not update (and that’s one of the best things about the ReMOTE SL). To tell the truth though, I wouldn’t know what to replace it with. Maybe an Edirol PCR50?

NEWS:
The current issue of Official Corel Painter Magazine’s got an interview with me, so stop by your local bookstore and spend a few minutes to check it out. (The Painter magazine is usually placed near all those Photoshop/computer art magazines.)

WEBLOG:
Do not buy Crest Pro Health mouthwash. Just google that with terms like “dark stain between teeth” and you’ll see why. My wife and I are victims of it, and we have stopped using our bottle and asked for a refund with Crest. We scratched our heads for weeks wondering why we both were getting the dark stains between our teeth. We reviewed our diet, looked into the local water supply, called our dentist, called our landlord, and eventually placed our suspicion on the mouthwash. A search with google confirmed our suspicion, as many others have voiced their anger about the dark staining online.

Right now our favorite is the citrus flavored stuff–although it does contain alcohol (the reason we moved to the non-alcoholic formula in the first place–but backfired on us).

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Vector TD is one of the most addictive games (and free) I’ve played in a long time. If you are prone to addiction at all, do not try this game–hours will be sucked away. You’ve been warned.

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I finally watched Before Sunset for the first time (heard about it through Filmspotting a while ago) with Elena. Man, what a great movie! Now we have to hunt down Before Sunrise and see what their romance was like nine years ago. I think this is probably the first time a romantic drama had a sequel? What’s so interesting is that they filmed the sequel nine years later, and in the story it was nine years later as well, so the rate of how the characters aged is accurate. This is one of the rare films where the entire thing is essentially one long conversation between two people, and if that might sound boring to you, it’s really not at all. If you are in any way a romantic, it’s a must see.

NEWS:
Fresh out of the oven is the main menu music I just finished for Galactic Melee (a MMO space shooter I’m composing the score for). It was a struggle to get into the groove on this project, since a bit of hardware and software problems cropped up, but things are looking much better now. The main menu music combines a few different styles (orchestral strings, glitch, industrial, electronic, ethnic percussions), and its purpose is to get you into the mood for some MMO space combat action. For this track I used:

Cakewalk Sonar Producer Edition 6 (sequencing host)
EWQL Symphonic Orchestra Platinum, Edirol HQ Orchestral (orchestral strings)
Best Service Artist Drums (acoustic drums)
Quantum Leap Colossus (electronic drums, ethnic percussion, guitar)
Roland Groove Synth (bass drum)
Native Instruments Absynth 2 (synth pad, lead)
Korg Legacy Cell (synth pad)
Big-Tick Rhino 2 (rhythmic synth sequence)
rgc z3ta+ (rhythmic synth sequence)
Smart Electronix Augur (synth bass doubling cellos)
Ichiro Toda’s Synth 1 (synth lead)
Cakewalk TTS-1 (synth bell doubling synth leads)
Spectrasonics Trilogy (electric bass guitar)
dblue Glitch (glitch effects)
SonitusFX (compressor, EQ, multi-band compressor)
BBE Sonic Maximizer (drums processing)
Lexicon Pantheon (reverb on snare drum)
PSP Vintage Warmer (mastering)

The trickier parts of composing/arranging/mixing this track were:

1) The orchestral strings always require a lot of work to sound good–varying the volume expession so there’s crescendo and decrescendo at the beginning and end of notes, balancing the mix so no one section of the strings dominate (thus killing the harmonic support of the other sections), yet as a whole doesn’t sound too scattered and unfocused. EQ’ing to bring out certain frequencies so it doesn’t get burried in the mix (the lower spiccato cello notes always need a bit of boost in the high mid’s to give it more bite).

2) Experimenting with a lot of different synth sounds/layers to get the right tone for the synth melody.

3) Mixing the heavy guitar just right so it’s not too dominating, but still has enough weight to give enough impact.

4) Mixing/processing the various drum sounds just right to form a cohesive whole that sounds organic and groovy

5) Using the glitch effects just right so they don’t sound accidental, but works as part of the arrangement.

6) Filling in the bottom end with electric bass and synth bass, but making sure they support the general groove instead of causing distraction.

7) Make sure the various effects routing aren’t fighting each other and causing over-processing of certain sounds.

8) Scooping out the low frequencies on some instruments so they aren’t muddying things up, and boosting some instruments in the high mid’s to give them more punch.

9) Fading some instruments out during some parts so there isn’t overcrowding in the arrangement, and raising the volume of some instruments in some parts for more impact.

10) Mixing orchestral libraries can be problematic, as you need to match their sounds (recorded in different settings, processed differently, playing style is different…etc). I had to mix EWQLOR Platinum with Edirol HQ Orchestral (which had more bite or expressiveness in some articulations), and the two sounds quite different in just about every aspect (Edirol HQ OR is a lot more processed and uses digital reverb, while EWQLOR Platinum is recorded with natural concert hall acoustics).

I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, and I definitely learned some lessons while working on this track. The client really liked it, and the various people that’s heard it liked it in general, so I guess I did my job. Now I gotta finish the rest of the score. . ..

WEBLOG:
Elena is back, and life is so much better with her around. I feel sorry for couples that don’t get along, because they’re really missing out life’s greatest gift–a soulmate.

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I’ve read a few zombie novels lately, and the best one so far is Dying to Live by Kim Paffenroth. It takes a more literary approach and has a lot more substance than a typical genre fiction novel, which is rare. Not that all genre fiction is shallow, but there is definitely a huge difference between authors that simply spin yarns, and authors who actually have something profound to say while spinning yarns.

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I threw about 14 GB of music and videos from my collection onto my brother Dennis’s 30GB video iPod (he’s too lazy to rip his own CD collection or convert videos). This is my first experience spending a significant amount of time with an iPod, and I can definitely see what I missed out on when I decided to go with the competition years ago (Creative Nomad 3 Jukebox). The small size is certainly enticing, and the slick design a joy to look at. The ergonomics is a bit clunky, as you’d have to hit the center button a couple of times to be able to fast-forward on the navigation circle, and if you missed a click, you end up jacking up the volume to painful levels by accident. I would’ve much preferred a separate control for either the volume or fast-forwarding. It’s also kind of annoying the only way to travel in the layers of the UI structure is to go forward or back, instead of jumping to various directories as you please (The Nomad is much better in that respect). The iPod also does not allow you to customize your own EQ settings, and that is just unforgivable to me. Factory programmed EQ settings are almost never useful to me, as the people who programmed them can’t possibly know what headphones or speakers I’m using, and which frequencies need to be cut or boosted for it to sound right. I also couldn’t believe Apple didn’t include a recharger–only a USB connector. I’ve never been a fan of Apple, since their marketing strategies piss me off, they over hype their products to the point of false advertising, and there’s always some glaring hole missing in the feature set, ergonomics, or compatibility with everything else on the market. In the end, I felt like if I ever wanted to upgrade my Nomad 3 to something smaller/sleeker/with larger capacity, I’d probably pick something from Apple’s various competitors again.

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Some people move along in life, never stopping to ask themselves what it is they really want, and what it takes to be truly happy, while others are constantly searching for it. Some feel that happiness isn’t something we should feel entitled to, while others feel it’s something that can be pursued and attained, and there are also those who feel happiness is overrated–simply finding peace is enough. It’s really up to your own expectations and goals, and one man’s happiness might be another man’s nightmare.

The experts say that happiness comes from having control over your life, feeling fulfilled, challenged, and accomplished, although these things can mean drastically different things for different people. A person can be happy because he’s got an OK job that pays the bills and has enough time to play as many video games as he wants, and that is enough for him. Another person can feel happy because he’s been working hard and about to get that promotion to be an account director at some advertising company. Yet another person might be happy because he’s finally getting close to finding the cure for cancer after a lifetime of research. Whether our source of happiness comes from accomplishing something that’s considered noble, or simply mundane pleasures, it only matters that you know what you want, and that you are doing something about it instead of doing nothing and blaming everyone and everything else.

I’ll be thirty-five the end of this year (in December), and at this point in my life, I still don’t have it all figured out yet. This is something I talk about with Elena sometimes. She always points out that even if I do end up doing what I really want for a living (writing/directing feature films, or composing music), I might find out that it’s not quite what I had hoped for. Unseen issues that come with the job can turn the whole experience sour–lack of funding, demands on script changes by the studio, low box-office sales, creative differences, unable to secure desirable projects, forced to work in styles you don’t like, trashed by the critics, misunderstood by the audience…etc. But those are things all creative people face, and if one can’t accept that they come with the job, then maybe it’s better off doing something else. I know for me, the rewards are greater than the risks, but simply getting from here to there in itself is an uphill battle. I guess if you can put yourself in the right frame of mind to enjoy that uphill struggle, then you’re already ahead of the game when it comes to achieving happiness.