Happiness, airsoft guns, and the prostate gland

News:
Added another new concept piece:

My brother Dennis informed me that the piece which got accepted by Spectrum 13 is my Promise Promo piece. I had guessed it would probably be the Scythe Wolf piece, but that one’s seen so much print already, so it’s good they didn’t choose that one. Dennis is now working at LucasArts. He better get me a job there or I’ll disown the little fucker.

weblog:
Dalai Llama once said (I’m paraphrasing here) that many people in this world are unhappy because we have this unreasonable belief that we deserve happiness, and that happiness is something owed to us when we were brought into this world. The sooner we realize that no one owes us happiness, and that happiness is not guaranteed nor should it be expected, the sooner we’ll cease to be tormented by the fact that true happiness seems so elusive. I can grasp that concept intellectually, but emotionally, I can’t help but feel that accepting a life without happiness is like knowing you got short-changed at 7-Eleven, but not doing a damn thing about it. The prospect that happiness may possibly elude some of us for our entire lifetime is a scary thought–one so bleak and hopeless. No wonder some people decide it’s better to just end it all. I’m nowhere near that pessimistic, so I can safely say that when my time comes, it’ll not be my own intentional doing. Hell, I’m as greedy as an oil company executive when it comes to life–I want to live for an eternity. If I ever get turned into a vampire, you can bet I won’t be one of those ungrateful little whinny dorks. I’d totally live it up and enjoy my immortality. I might even use it to fight evil and do some good.

Why am I all introspective and talking about happiness? Well, I guess it’s because I’ve been pretty stressed out lately with the upcoming move back to the States, working on new pieces for my portfolio, getting ready to look for a new job..etc. I try to picture my life five years from now and I can’t. I can’t even predict what next year is going to be like, let alone in five years. At this point, I try to keep it simple with short-term goals. For example, move back to the States, find a new job, find a new apartment, get car insurance, get up to speed at the new job, unpack and settle in at the new place, get Elena situated so she could go through daily life without too much trouble (her English skill is still almost non-existent at this point), and then, maybe then, I’ll get to unwind a bit and start to have freetime to do the things I love–compose new music, play my drumset (I miss my drumset so much–it’s been in storage in California for the last five year), shoot some new photography..etc. After I get to unwind for a bit, I’ll start making new short-term goals again–like finishing screenplays, looking for funding for my short film, getting involved in local indy films projects..etc. And if finances allow, I’d love to jump back into playing airsoft again. Damn I miss playing airsoft too. All of my airsoft guns have pretty much deteriorated in the last five years. I didn’t have time to clean them before leaving for China five years ago after the last game I played–they were caked with dirt, mud, and other creepy stuff. A couple of years ago when I went back to get something out of the storage, I took a peek at my airsoft guns and they looked like they had been eaten away by some mysterious growth. It was a horrible sight. All of them were upgraded with high quality gearboxes, springs, projection scopes, tactical flashlights..etc too. That’s more than a thousand dollars down the drain. *sigh*

How many of you out there suffer from stiff shoulders and neck? Hiring a masseuse/masseur is so cheap in China, so whenever I get too stressed out, Elena would have one drop by for an hour or so. I’m told that people with desk jobs suffer the most–they are the regular clients. I have a timer on my desk, set to go off every hour–a reminder that I need to get up to stretch and m

(edit: while cutting and pasting a javascript from this entry onto another entry, I think I might’ve accidentally deleted the rest of this entry–thus the abrupt cutoff. The comments now make no sense because some refer to the part that was accidentally deleted. I can’t remember exactly what was in the rest of the entry, but I remember talking about how sitting down all the time is bad for your prostate because you’re constantly putting pressure on it, and I also relayed news from China–probably something negative.

7 thoughts on “Happiness, airsoft guns, and the prostate gland

  1. Jim Ou says:

    Lovely new, I am suprise they reported it at all. Don’t Chinese media always report sunshrine news:)
    Well, good luck on ur Job huntin’. With your talent I don’t think it will be a problem but a matter of time. but it sure is sucks to move though, especially from another couuntry.

  2. Rob says:

    Jim – Actually, China has gotten a lot more relaxed in general when it comes to media control, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t control A LOT still. For example, you probably have read in the news about how they are controlling internet access. The general rule of thumb seems to be that as long as the news doesn’t say anything negative about the communist party or the upper tier of governemnt, they don’t really give a damn. The newspapers here even report on things like corrupt Chief of Police in small cities. Of course, they’d never report on corrupt officials in the large cities–those guys are too well protected and connected. They report on the small fishes to give the illusion that they’re doing their journalisitc duties. 😀 Everyone here knows that virtually the entire Chinese government is corrupt anyway–up and down the entire food chain.

  3. Rob says:

    Jim – I’ve played around with Zbrush back when version 1 came out–the UI was quite clunky back then. When I hung out with Meats Meier and Alex Alvarez of Gnomon a few months ago, Alex gave me a bunch of Gnomon’s Zbrush DVD’s, so I’m good to go for a new round of Zbrush craziness. They both heaped piles of praises on Zbrush when we had dinner together and said I must take the plunge because it’s just so fun to use.

    I’m a Forum Leader at cgtalk.com, so I’m reasonably up to date with most of the developments in the CG industry. Zbrush’s runaway success certain did not drop under my radar. 😀 It seems all the studios now use it in their pipeline–I’d be stupid to be left out of the revolution. In the next few weeks I’ll be posting some of my new Zbrush pieces.

  4. Jim Ou says:

    Dude! You know all of those important people. 崇拜!I just started to pick up Zbrush about a month ago and I am liking it. Look forward to see your new stuff.

  5. Baikunth says:

    hi, i keep viewing ur work on and off and i was quite taken by the piece on happiness. it’s so much like the way i think that i was a bit surprised. i have been doing a lot of moving around myself and must admit that it is painful to say the least…best of luck for the future though…

  6. Rob says:

    Baikunth – Do you mean that you get short-changed at 7-Eleven and just shrug it off, or you’re a wannabe power-hungry vampire? Maybe people like us who live in relatively safe and peaceful countries are spoiled. I bet if we grew up in a war-torn country where bloodshed is the only currency of bargaining, or a poverty striken land where people die of hunger everyday, we’d be a lot easier to please. Happiness? What are you, insane? Just food and shelter and no bombs dropping please!

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